The 101 Themes Challenge: Victorious Style
by Follow Those Owls
Summary: The rules are simple. There are 101 themes, and I have to write a one-shot for each one. Themes include See You In Hell, Birthday, Photo Album, Remember When, Promise Me, Childhood, Nature, Revenge, Shut Up, Internet, and more!
1. Introduction

_It was late. A girl sat on her bunk bed, staring intently at her iPod. She'd come to ignore the cracks it had. Its glow was the only thing providing light in her bedroom - her lamp, a working replica of the leg lamp from A Christmas Story, was switched off, so she would not disturb her sleeping sibling._

_She had an over-active imagination. If you knew her from school, you probably knew that. When asked where she would like to go on vacation, she'd replied, "The Bermuda Triangle. And I'll take my two best friends."_

_Her imagination had always run wild at night._

_On this particular night, she had come across a document, titled "The 101 Themes Challenge."_

_Reading through the list, she got excited. Never mind that the longest thing she'd ever written was about 30,000 words long and took her over a year to complete. She could do this. Of course she could, or at least, that's what she told herself._

_(That was another thing about her - she was overly ambitious.)_

_Meanwhile, her brother continued to snore on the bunk below her._

_The rules seemed simple enough. All you had to do was write a one-shot for every theme._

_She pondered which fandom she should do it in._

_Not Total Drama - all she'd ever written for that were one-shots about a crack couple she liked. Plus, she already had a multi-chapter for it going._

_Her adventure into the Newsies fandom had been quite amusing, but she couldn't write anything serious for it without wanting to laugh - as silly as her story was (she'd put the toughest character on a diet "to keep his figure" and had him attack fruit cart vendors in search of magical mangoes), it had been nominated for an award. How could she write anything serious for Newsies, when she had killed off a character and made his final words about how he owned a man-purse, also known as a murse?_

_Then it hit her._

_Why not Victorious? It was where she started, although her earlier works were not exactly wonderful. She could redeem herself now! Why not adventure back to where it had all begun?_

_The young girl's eyes lit up at the thought. The didn't need to go in order! They didn't need to have any continuity whatsoever! Things like this were MADE for people like her!_

_That's how The 101 Themes Challenge: Victorious Style was born._

_101 chapters._

_101 prompts._

_1 fandom._

_And 1 writer determined to make it all happen._

_She'd liked the themes, plus she already had the first one done:_

1. Introduction (this chapter)

2. Happy

3. Smile

4. Don't Go

5. Frustrated

6. Story

7. Empty Threat

8. Flower

9. House With a White Picket Fence

10. Fear

11. Kiss

12. Masquerade

13. Wall

14. Traitor

15. Tell the Truth

16. Nostalgia

17. Nightmares

18. Dreams

19. Soft

20. Heal

21. Blood

22. Death

23. Torn

24. Promise Me

25. Childhood

26. Family

27. Trust

28. Love

29. For Your Information

30. Holidays

31. Like Glass

32. Hate

33. Murderer

34. Illness

35. Grave

36. Ocean

37. Light

38. Beautiful

39. Pain

40. Blind

41. Apologize

42. Fire

43. One Day

44. For You

45. Photo Album

46. Memory

47. Hope

48. Numb

49. Fate

50. Alive

51. Ice

52. Go Down Fighting

53. See You in Hell

54. Boredom

55. Stars

56. Darkness

57. Food

58. Shut Up

59. Savior

60. Gift

61. Music

62. Nature

63. Pity

64. Laugh

65. Just for Fun

66. If Only

67. Rival

68. Wish

69. Passion

70. The Day After Tomorrow

71. Movie

72. Dance

73. Remember When...

74. Lies

75. Snow

76. Internet

77. Sadness

78. Thoughts

79. Tears

80. Eyes

81. Zero

82. Indestructible

83. Beach

84. Birthday

85. Clueless

86. Touch

87. Shatter

88. Envious

89. Proud

90. Mother

91. Number

92. Video Game

93. Comfort

94. Hug

95. Revenge

96. Curious

97. Adore

98. Seasons

99. Worry

100. Don't Wait Up

101. I'll Always Be There For You

_One down, 100 to go._


	2. Like Glass

**This chapter is dedicated to the reviewers, TandreIsAmazing, Coeur de la nuit, LuvBadeForever, LittleMissPanda84, and OhSnapItzLara! I regognize most of you from my other stories - awesome! To those of you who voted at the end of Now You See Me, I PROMISE I'll get around to You Can't Stop Us. You can hold me to that. **

**This chapter is kinda short and dark, but I really like it.**

**DISCLAIMER: Dan Schnieder is a guy. I'm a girl. You do the math.**

**Theme 31 - Like Glass**

Jade and glass have almost nothing in common.

She's not transparent - you rarely know what's going on in her mind, but you can be certain that it's dark.

She's not easily breakable. She doesn't really let anyone in - and she is scared to let people in.

If she does, they can shatter her.

Like glass.

Luckily for her, most people are too afraid to approach her.

And the ones that do might never truly meet the real Jade.

Cat knew the real Jade; when they were in first grade, before her dad died from lung cancer. Jade learned how cruel the world was when she was only 7.

Maybe that's why she was friends with Cat after all this time, because Cat is still innocent, still pure.

Of course, Cat hasn't gotten to see Real Jade in 11 years.

She still doesn't understand what happened to 'Jadey'.

Andre and Robbie never got to meet real Jade.

They met her in middle school, and she won't let them in.

She's still convinced that she doesn't like Tori - when in reality, Tori is one of her best friends.

Despite all that, there is still a glimmer of the true Jade inside.

The Jade who often went by Jadey (that's where Cat got the nickname). The Jade who likes blue cotton candy ice cream cones with rainbow sprinkles. The Jade who's favorite color isn't black - it's light green. The Jade who wears knee high polka dotted socks. The Jade who likes to knit.

She's still in there.

There was only one person who saw that Jade recently.

Beck.

When they were alone, Beck would call her Jadey, and she would say nothing. One day, she showed him that under her dark tights or jeans, she still wears those fun socks. She knit him a fluffy blanket for Christmas. Unlike when their whole group went to get ice cream or frozen yogurt and she would get a cup of dark chocolate or coffee, when they would get ice cream alone, she would get her real favorite flavor, in a cone that had a chocolate dip on top.

She made him promise never to tell anyone about that stuff, and to this day, he never has.

And then, he broke up with her.

Didn't just break up with her - broke her.

Jade on the surface was virtually unfazed.

Jade on the inside was shattered.

Like glass.


	3. Internet

**This chapter is a small sample of what might have been included in the story I decided not to write called Facebook is Victorious, also titled Misadventures Online. It's short, too, but it's a lot lighter than the last chapter! This chapter is dedicated to our loverly reviewers, who are: Coeur de la nuit, TandreIsAmazing, OhSnapItzLara, LittleMissPanda84, Jmags-WriterofAwesomeness, LuvBadeForever, TheDreamer006, lally28, Let'sjustsay.97, and curly1221! Oh, and for all of you who read The Curious Case of Mr. Shetland, you guys are TOO NICE. I just reread that, and was like...what the heck is this? I liked Since You've Been Gone and Now You See Me WAY better!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, I'm a hobo. WILL WRITE FOR REVIEWS. **

**76 - Internet**

Misadventures Online

Cat Valentine likes Bibble.

Cat Valentine likes Giraffes.

Cat Valentine likes Robin Wieners.

Cat Valentine: GUYS! Can you please come over and make cupcakes with me? I'm home alone and sad :'(. - Tagged with Tori Vega and Jade West.

Tori Vega and Cat Valentine like this.

Comments:

Tori Vega : Sure, Cat. What kind? Red Velvet?

Cat Valentine: YAY! Yeah, res velvet, with pink frosting and rainbow sprinkles! :D

Jade West: Vega? Pink frosting? Sprinkles? No way.

Cat Valentine: PLEASE Jadey? Mr. Longneck is going to help!

Jade West: WOOH FLIPPING HOO.

Tori Vega: C'mon Jade, don't be a gank.

Jade West: OH.

Cat Valentine: We can watch the Scissoring while we bake!

Jade West: FINE, if it will shut you two up.

Tori Vega: Victory is sweet.

Cat Valentine: But cupcakes are sweeter...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jade West likes Scissors.

Jade West likes The Scissoring.

Jade West likes MoonBucks.

Jade West likes Play Writing.

Jade West: SINJIN YOU BETTER GIVE ME MY SWEATER BACK BEFORE I COME OVER AND MAKE YOU GIVE IT BACK.

Sinjin Van Cleef likes this.

Comments:

Beck Oliver: ...Do I even want to know?

Jade West: Shut up, Canadian.

Beck Oliver: What do you have against Canadians?

Andre Harris: What happened to your sweater?

Jade West: I left it on the back of my chair in Sikowitz's room and went to the bathroom, and when I came back, Sinjin, and my jacket, were gone. One of those people who sit in the back told me he took it. AND I WANT IT BACK, VAN CLEEF!

Andre Harris: Those guys talk?

Jade West: Barely.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Robbie Shapiro likes Bra Candy.

Robbie Shapiro likes Male Makeup.

Comments:

Rex Powers: ...Seriously?


	4. House with a White Picket Fence

**Hey! Have you guys heard? There are only 15 more episodes of Victorious! The show that brought me here! This sucks. Some people are even discontinuing their Victorious stories! GAAH! I hope bade gets back together, and Tandre and Cabbie go SOMEWHERE. I won't do that, and I'm still going to write You Can't Stop Us. This is the only fandom that appreciates my weird mysteries! On a brighter note, Cat is getting a show with Sam from iCarly where they start a babysitting business! It's called Sam & Cat! Now for the dedications: TheDreamer006, curly1221, lally28, LittleMissPanda84, Jmags-WriterofAwesomeness, TandreIsAmazing, and AleAmaroBTR! **

**DISCLAIMER: I'm a house cat who has somehow gotten online, not Dan Schneider.**

9 - House With a White Picket Fence

Tori Vega knows all about dreams.

She has big ones - be a pop star and be household name.

However, there is a dream.

This dream works quietly in the background, letting the pop star dream take center stage.

In Tori's dream, yes, she's sold a ton of albums and is famous; she's made it in America, just like she always wanted.

But she's also married. She has kids - 2 boys and girl, like she always wanted - and lives in a big, beautiful house with a white picket fence.

It's sort of like the dream that, if all the others never happen, this one would.

Tori knew she would find love someday.

She already had one in mind.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Cat Valentine has big dreams too.

She wants to be an actress - she's not sure if on Broadway or in movies or what yet, but she just wants to do what she loves and make people happy while doing it.

She'd also like to have a real, live giraffe who she will name The Terminator.

But she has the dream, too.

In Cat's background dream, she has 3 daughters with magenta colored ringlets. Each one looks like a small version of herself. She's married - to a certain puppeteer - and has a cute little house. Not really small, but not a mansion like Tori's.

A house with a white picket fence.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jade West's dreams are different.

She's not sure what she wants to do. Maybe she'll be a playwright, maybe she'll act in movies, maybe she'll be a singer. She could do all them and more with ease.

Jade's background dream is different, too. Jade's house is HUGE, with scissors randomly hung on the wall. Instead of a white picket fence, hers is black. She's got a Rottweiler, and she's not sure if there are kids, if Beck - er, I mean, HER HUSBAND, can convince her to have them she will.

Should she have them, she wants 3 daughters and a son, the son being the youngest. Jade wants a Momma's boy.

It's strange, but she wants that house with a picket fence, too.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

So, you see, everyone seems to have the same dream incorporated into the big dream, the one taking center stage.

They want to be married, have kids, to be happy, to have a wonderful life all around.

And a house with a white picket fence.

**It was short, but I'm proud of it!**

**This chapter is going to end in a short rant, so feel free to sign off right here.**

**My town annoys me. **

**Today the Rec center sent us the list of classes you can take this fall and winter, right? There's an Irish dancing class for TWO YEAR OLDS that cost ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY DOLLARS. I'm dead serious. I've seen it before, too, in the summer edition they send us and past fall editions, people must sign up for it. WHY? The kid isn't even going to remember unless they persue it further, which I doubt most of them do. When I was two, I lived in my old house and all I remember is my fish dying,cleaning my room, getting locked in the bathroom, (which was pink - pink walls, tub, and tile floor) and sitting on my living room table, eating cereal, watching FLIPPIN Ed, Edd, and Eddy with my older brother.**

**TAKE THAT YUPPIES! I WATCHED SLAPSTICK CARTOONS!**

**Lol, you guys are epic, end of random rant.**


	5. Mother

**HEY! Right now, I'm PEEVED OFF, because this annoying kid who was in my homeroom last year is in it AGAIN this year. Meh. ANYWAY! This chapter is dedicated to the wonderfully epic reviewers: Coeur de la nuit (more dance classes for toddlers, I guess my town isn't the only oddball in the mix), TandreIsAmazing, LittleMissPanda84 (We're all mad here.), curly1221, and TheDreamer006 (it really is the characters)! This chapter was a ton of fun to write! The present day in this story is in the year 2037, so that means that the past in the story is actually 10 years in future now…does that makes sense?**

**ONTO THE FLIPPIN ONESHOT!**

**Disclaimer: I w****_as _****Dan Schneider, when I woke up this morning. It wore off.**

**90 – Mother**

_March 24, 2022 (Flashback)_

Most people wonder how Cat kept her body after high school, and even now, 10 years after graduation, is still the tiny redhead she always was.

It's even more amazing after you learn that she has six kids.

Yep, _six._

They're sextuplets.

They're all three.

And according to most people, they're adorable.

Of course, Jade has a different perspective.

Cat and Robbie wanted to have a "romantic evening out with cupcakes", in Cat's words, so Cat called Jade and Tori to watch her kids.

She actually needs two babysitters.

"I don't understand why she has to go to a fancy restaurant. Romantic evenings happen at HOME," Jade grumbled to Tori. Jade didn't want kids – they were loud and needy.

Tori, who had a one year old son, rolled her eyes. "Jade. She has six kids. They can't have a romantic evening _here. _You have to give the kids props; they did steal Rex and hid him somewhere."

Tori had a point.

Right now, they had not seen the kids. They were all upstairs, because Cat was still getting ready and she thought it would be cute to meet Robbie at the restaurant, so he wasn't here. They were acting like perfect little angels, probably. The Shapiro kids are wonderful actors.

Just then, Cat bounced happily down the stairs, her red hair curled in lose ringlets and she wore pink lipstick. "BYE GUYS! I'll be back at, um, 11-ish! The kid's bedtime is 7:30!' she called on the way out to Tori and Jade.

And then it began.

2 little black-haired boys ran by, one holding a blue baseball cap and the other trying to snatch it back. "GIVE MY HAT BACK!" one of them screamed at the other.

"NO!" the other screamed back.

A group of girly screams resounded from upstairs.

"I'll get them, you handle…this," Tori said, dashing upstairs.

Jade glared at the fighting toddlers.

"SCOTT DANIEL SHAPIRO! GIVE ME THAT HAT RIGHT NOW!" Jade yelled fiercely.

The boys stopped immediately.

"It's Aunt Jade," one whispered to the other.

"She's scary," the other responded.

Jade held her hand out.

The boy holding the hat, apparently named Scott, pouted and handed her the hat.

"That's _my _hat," the other boy said, scrunching up his nose.

Jade rolled her eyes. "I know, Kevin, you wear it every single day. If this keeps up you're going to go prematurely bald," she said, handing him the hat.

Kevin and Scott shared a glance.

"What does pre-ma-ture-ly mean?" Kevin asked, stretching out the unfamiliar word.

This was going to be a long night.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Meanwhile, Tori was happy that she didn't have to deal with Scott and Kevin. They were notorious for fighting like cats and dogs.

However, it did mean she was going to have to fix whatever situation was going on with Scarlett, Kerri, Avril, and Eli.

Scarlett, Kerri, and Avril might as well have been the second coming of Cat – they looked exactly like her with dark hair. They have her personality too; ditzy but lovable.

Eli was probably the calmest kid in the family. Too bad his brothers act like they're at war and his sisters are hyper all the time.

"YOU KNOCKED OVER OUR CASTLE!" Scarlett shrieked.

"Your truck ran over Barbie! YOU KILLED HER!" Avril added.

"GUYS! What's going on?!" Tori asked, stepping into the room.

"Hi Aunt Tori!" Eli said, waving.

"Aunt Tori! Eli made our castle fall down and killed Barbie!" Kerri said in an accusatory tone.

"I'm sure he didn't mean to, and Barbie's fine. See?" Tori picked up the doll and made it walk around.

"_You're _making Barbie do that. SHE'S DEAD! I know it!" Scarlett cried.

This was going to be a long night.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX

Suddenly, at only 8:00, Cat and Robbie came home.

"You guys are really early. Like, 3 hours early," Tori said, staring at the clock.

"I got really worried, we've never left the kids at night before," Cat said with a giggle.

"Well, I had to keep Scott and Kevin from killing each other all night, and apparently Tori had to have a funeral for a Barbie. I'm never having kids," Jade grumbled.

"Oh, by the way, I know what happened to Rex," Tori said.

"You do?" Robbie asked, eyes wide.

"Kerri fed him to the neighbor's dog. Anyway, I've gotta go, I don't think Andre knows how to change diapers," Tori responded walking out the door.

"You worry about your kids too much, Cat," Jade said.

"I guess I do."

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_Present day, Septemeber 3, 2037 (Cat's POV)_

My kids are going to college today.

I remember college! I brought a Cheesy Bake Oven in once and my roommates and I made cupcakes!

I remember when my kids were 3, and they're basically grown up now.

I wonder if I'll ever stop worrying about them. Probably not.

I guess that's just the mark of a good mother.


	6. Clueless

**Hi darlings! Happy September! I started school ALREADY, two days ago. Ew. There are some weird names in my school, like, there's a boy in my math class named Sopay or something, and a guy in my art class named Rudtger. I was like, okay….Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to LittleMissPanda84 (I don't mind at all!), Coeur de la nuit, TandreIsAmazing (I can see that happening!), jjohnson612, curly1221, and jazzu2297! Thank you all to the max! This chapter is like a little mystery, I love writing Victorious mysteries! I might even have to use this plot line for a full length story, hmm….**

**#85 – Clueless**

"I don't like this hotel, guys…" Tori said, glancing around the lobby as the gang walked in.

"One time my brother was staying at a hotel, but he harassed the room service lady, and now he isn't allowed to stay at that hotel anymore!" Cat said brightly.

The Black Pine Manor was at least 200 years old and hadn't been remodeled much since it was opened. The lobby had strange paintings, of peculiar looking people and there seemed to be cobwebs in every corner. In contrast, the young lady at the desk, who looked to be about 20, was dressed modernly and obviously bored, playing a game on a green pear-phone. It made sense that she would be bored, there wasn't a single other person in the lobby, and there seemed to be no other guests. She looked up, hearing Tori's voice, and her face lit up. "Guests?" she asked excitedly. "Are there any rooms available?" Beck asked her, walking up to the desk. She nodded quickly. "I think there are like, 7 other people staying here, total," she said, pulling out some papers. "Guys, are we sure we want to stay here?" Robbie asked, looking around nervously. The girl's face fell. "YES, Robbie. I like it here," Jade said, staring at a particularly disturbing painting. "But-" Robbie started again, but Andre cut him off. "Come on. It's almost midnight and it's pouring rain," Andre said. Robbie sighed, and went to stand next to Cat, who seemed a little uneasy about the place herself.

They were on a road trip to celebrate spring break, and were traveling in the direction of their first stop, the National Scissor Museum in Utah. It was Jade's idea to go there. Cat wanted to go to Dylan's Candy Bar, which would be their last stop, it being in New York. Tori and Andre wanted to visit the Music Hall of Fame, Robbie wanted to see the world's biggest ball of twine, and Beck wanted to go to the Men's Hairstyling Emporium in Pennsylvania.

"Here's your room key, room 268. I hope you enjoy your stay at the Black Pine Manor," the girl smiled, showcasing a small gap in between her 2 front teeth, explaining the slight whistle in her voice.

"Guys, let's go. Jade! Stop staring at the paintings, we're going to our room now!" Tori called. Jade walked over grudgingly. "I'm coming over here because I want to, not because Vega told me to."

"Where's the elevator?" Andre asked.

"There isn't one. Just stairs," the girl at the desk said, pointing to the stair case.

Before anyone could groan about the lack of elevators, a man in a business suit came down the stairs, a sour expression on his face, a large stain on the front of his jacket. He looked at the teenagers before jabbing a figner at Cat. "YOU!" he growled. Everyone stared at him, confused. "That young lady grabbed my water bottle, and dumped it on me!"

"No, she didn't!" Robbie said.

"Sir, Cat has been with us this whole time. We just checked in," Tori added.

"I _know _she did it. There less than ten people here, and you could never miss that fire-engine red hair," the man argued.

"It's actually red-velvet cupcake red," Cat said.

"Whatever! You can argue all you want, she did it!" the man yelled, pushing past them.

"That was…strange," Beck said.

It was about to get a lot stranger.

**I'm evil, aren't I? Worst cliffhanger ever! It might never be answered! Anyway, this will probably be a shortened version of the first chapter of my next mystery, remember, the hotel one? I just really wanted to write a mystery today! Hope you liked it!**


	7. Holidays

**No message today, except for LE DEDICATIONS: LuvBadeForever, Coeur de la nuit, TandreIsAmazing, curly1221, LittleMissPanda84, and Luciana Abril! To whom it may concern, I do plan on writing the story in the previous chapter! ON WITH THE ONESHOT!**

**#30 - Holidays**

Valentine's Day

"Jadey! Robbie got me flowers!" Cat said excitedly, holding a small bouquet of tiger lillys, Cat's favorite. "What did Beck get you?"

Jade smiled and reached into her locker. "New scissors. They come with a cover and warning," she said, stroking the scissors. "They're engraved."

The scissors read, I love you, Jade.

It might be a sappy message, but they were probably the only pair of scissors in the world that declare love.

St. Patrick's Day

"BEEEEECK. Please don't wear that. I even said please," Jade asked.

"No, I'm soooo doing this."

Most people like to dress up a little on St. Patrick's day. Jade was not one of these people.

Beck was.

He had a huge, green, glittery top hat that had shamrocks and pots of gold all over it. He was planning to wear it to school.

"Jade, I have a surprise for you."

"You didn't," Jade said. She was SURE she knew what this "surprise" was.

"Oh, but I did!" Beck pulled out a matching top hat and plunked it on her head.

"I'm not wearing this in public."

"Pleeeeaaaase?" Beck pouted.

"No."

"It's in the spirit of the holiday!"

"Your point?"

"C'mon, pllllleeeeaaasssseeee?"

Only for Beck would Jade ever wear a St. Patrick's day hat.

Easter

Jade hated Easter.

It was SUPPOSED to be a religious holiday - but corporate America has gotten to it and now it was about candy and rabbits who make mysterious break-ins.

I mean, where does he get those eggs? I've never seen a giant rabbit shopping for eggs. But it really doesn't matter - Jade hates it.

Cat and Tori naturally love it - it was literally a melting pot of things they enjoy, like pastels, candy, small animals, and holidays in general. Jade really doesn't like holidays.

Except Martin Luther King Day and holidays similar where you do pretty much nothing but you get the day off from school. President's Day and Labor Dat where 2 of Jade's particular favorites. Halloween was tolerable.

But that all changed on Easter when Beck handed Jade a black Converse shoebox.

"What's this?"

"I found a way to make you loooove Easter!" Beck said excitedly.

"Another themed hat?"

"Just open it."

Jade pulled off the lid hesitantly, like it might bite her.

Out hopped a very small black-and-white rabbit.

Jade sat frozen for a minute. "Do you like him?" Beck asked, suddenly nervous. Jade might be all I HATE RABBITS IT'S GOIN BACK.

"Hi, Mugshot," Jade cooed at the rabbit.

"Mugshot?" Beck asked, bewildered why anyone, even Jade, would name a rabbit or any small animal Mugshot.

"Yeah. His name is Mugshot Beck The Terminator Scissors West."

"Awwwww, his middle name is named after me!"

Jade raised an eyebrow.

"Fine, I'll stop with the 'awwws.' Does Jade approve?"

Jade nodded, gently picking up Mugshot's front paws and slowly waving them around.

"What are you doing?" Beck asked.

"I'm not sure. It's kind of funny though ."

The rabbit didn't seem to be hurt by this, but he looked kind of mystified.

"You really don't seen like the bunny type, Jade."

"Mugshot is SPECIAL."

The Fourth of July

"Tori, you just burned, like, half of the hot dogs," Andre said, leaning over the grill where he was attempting to teach Tori how to barbecue.

"They're fine, see?" Tori shoved a fork into the charred hot dog, and watched as the skin split down one side, revealing the dark red, dried out inside.

"Alright, they're a LITTLE burnt."

Columbus Day

"I hate parades."

The gang was going to a huge Columbus Day parade 2 towns away. They had just been cooped up in a car for an hour getting there and were now walking towards the street where the parade was being held, noise being heard in the distance.

"Jadey, it'll be fun!" Cat said excitedly.

"Yepperooni!" Robbie agreed.

"...This is why you don't have a girlfriend," Rex sneered.

"REX!"

They finally got to the street, which was flanked by people on both sides. "Why is it so HOT? It's October!" Jade complained.

Cat had run down the block, dragging Robbie along with her, and returned with a can of purple silly string.

"Where did that come from?" Toru asked.

"There's a guy selling a huge cart of these!" Cat said excitedly as the first float began to come down the road. Unfortunately, it was some bag pipers.

Jade glared at the bag pipers. "Cat, can I borrow that silly string?"

Cat handed her the can. Jade shook it up furiously, and then, with amazing aim, shot a bag piper right in the face with it.

"This day just got better!" Jade laughed as the poor guy attempted to scrap some silly string out of his beard.

Halloween

"Why are we doing this again?" Trina whined.

"Because it's nice!" Tori replied.

"Meeeeeeeh."

"Alright, we're getting paid. Happy?"

Tori and Trina had to take their 7 year old cousin, Arilynna, and her friend Nazme trick-or-treating.

After about five houses, there was a "scary" house with fake cobwebs and plastic tombstones.

"I'm scared!" Arilynna said. Nazme nodded furiously in agreement.

"You're kidding me, right?" Trina asked.

"TRINA!" Tori exclaimed. She turned towards the girls. "We'll skip this house, alright?"

"Nooooo. Tyler in my class says they're giving out full size Hershey bars here!"

"Fine. I'll go," Trina said, desperate ti get this night over with. Tori wanted to speed things along as well - the gang was going to Beck's RV to watch scary movies at 9:00.

She walked up the door, pushing past kids, and shoved the two trick or treat bags the old dude at the door's face.

"Aren't you a little old for trick or treating, missy?"

Thanksgiving

"What are you thankful for, Cat?" Robbie asked as they packed up for Thanksgiving break near the lockers.

Cat thought for a minute.

"Bibble!"

Christmas

"What's that? That doesn't look natural."

Beck, after learning that Jade's parents were going to the Bahamas without her for Christmas, had invited her to come with his family to his grandma's house for Christmas eve and day.

"That's stuffing, Jade," Beck insisted.

"Oh, really?"

Jade got several glares from various family members around the table. Beck's aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, you name it, were crowded around the small table in his grandmother's dining room.

One of Beck's cousins, a four or five year old boy on Jade's right, suddenly scooped a big spoonful of mashed potatoes, stood on his chair, and dumped it on Jade's head.

Jade looked like she had smoke coming out of her ears, and then Beck laughed.

Without a word, Jade grabbed some mashed potatoes off her head and put it on Beck's head. As revenge, he tried to launch a spoonful of peas at her, but he accidentally hit his cousin, Kelly, in the face.

The massive food fight that followed is the reason Jade West is no longer welcome at Oliver family dinners.

**Nazme is pronounced Nahz-May and Arilynna is pronounced Airy-Lynn-Uh. They're pretty unique so I thought I'd include the prounouciation.**


	8. Just for Fun

**#65 – Just for Fun**

"I'm going to make a zebra!" Cat said excitedly.

As strange as it was to see two teenagers in Build-a-Bear, Cat and Robbie didn't seem to mind. Cat was happy and Robbie was glad she had invited him along, despite the various stress they were getting from the mothers around the small shop.

Cat's zebra, who she named Draco Mustache McGee, was white and his stripes were neon and different colors.

"That's great, Kitty Cat," Robbie replied.

They walked across the room to the stuffing machine. Cat purposely filled up Draco Mustache McGee a little too much ("Because he needs Weight Watchers!" she giggled) and then they walked over to the little clothing area.

"What do you think Draco should wear?" Robbie asked. He had left Rex in the car (because Build-a-Bear people are obsessed with money and would claim that he was trying to steal Rex) so he had no way to give Draco fashion advice.

Cat pulled out a bow tie. "This! And I want him to have some kind of shoes."

Robbie dug through a pile of shoes. "How about goo-lashes?" he asked, holding up a pair of red, white and blue boots.

Cat laughed. "They're perfect!"

After they paid, they walked to the food court in the mall.

Cat made Draco walk across the table and pretend to bite Robbie's hair, giggling.

"Hey, you guys match!" he said, pointing to Draco's purple bow tie, which was smililar to the purple ribbon in Cat's hair.

Cat put Draco face to face with Robbie.

"Merp!" she said in a deep voice between laughs.

"Merp?" Robbie asked, but Cat ignored him.

"Merp Herp Derp," she said again.

Catching on, Robbie said "Merp Blerp Flerp."

They continued, despite the stares of the people around them.

**Very short and drabble-ly today! If anyone has a particular theme they want me to write, to write sooner, I'd be glad to do them!**

**Love and many crabcakes,**


	9. Alive

**This one is just weird, but I like it. You can interpret it however you'd like. This chapter is dedicated TO: Caterina Vega, Hysterical Insanity, Coeur de la nuit, 143denimmermaid, DrizzyJ, curly1221, and TandreIsAmazing. I HEART YOU ALL HARDCORE.**

**50 - Alive**

Cat made friends easily.

On her first day of high school at Hollywood Arts, she met many people, such as Tori, Andre, and Robbie, who would eventually become her best friends. But, without a doubt, she was the closest to Jade.

Jade was bizarre. She was witty, sarcastic, rude, and dressed in dark colors. She was Cat's polar opposite - and yet, Cat adored Jade. And, even though she tried to be misleading, it was pretty obvious the feeling was mutual.

One day, Cat started to notice strange things. Jade rarely did her homework, but the teachers never called her on it. Jade was never called in attendance, but she was always there. Jade was never called on in class, even on the rare occasions when she raised her hand. None of the teachers seemed to care that she called out in class all the time, and the other students seemed to walk by her as if she was invisible.

Then, one day, something happened.

Jade stopped coming to school. It was completely out of the blue - she suddenly stopped responding to her friends' calls and texts and was never seen at school or anywhere else.

After 3 weeks, everyone got worried and asked their teachers about Jade's whereabouts, and I'd they knew if she moved or what.

They got the same flabbergasting reply from every teacher: there was no student named Jade West in any of their classes.

They confronted the principle.

Turns out there was no one named Jade West going to Hollywood Arts, and there had never been anyone with that name ever attend the school.

They got desperate and went to her house.

Jade's parents instead that they had no daughter named Jade or any kids at all.

They went to the town records.

No one named Jade West ever lived in the city.

In fact,

Jade West never truly existed at all.

**Strange, right?**

**Love and Mah Johng,**

**See You Next Thursday **


	10. Happy

**I had waaaay too much fun writing this one! Thank you to Coeur de la nuit, Jeremy Shane, Caterina Vega, TheDreamer006, jazzy2297, MistyFlower66, Hysterical Insanity, and curly1221 for being EPIC reviewers!**

**#2 – Happy**

Cat Valentine's "What I Did This Summer" Essay:

_My family and I went to see Peter and The Starcatcher on Broadway, did you notice that starcatcher sounds like dreamcatcher? I like dreamcatchers! _

_Anyway, some people in the line to get in were flipping out, because across the street, there were two people dressed like Smurf and Smurfette in big costumes! My brother almost got arrested for "assaulting" them – he's a disaster._

_The line to get in was really long, like at the DMV. One time last year I went to the DMV and the line was out the door and around the building! Also, at the DMV, there were always people at the front of the line complaining and HOLDING EVERYONE UP, that happened at Broadway too! _

_Last year I went to see a different play with my school, and my friend Jadey and I tried to go to the bathroom, but a mean lady with a big butt held up the line._

_Also, the things they sell at Broadway are like WAY overpriced, like, a bag of M&M's costs like 10 dollars! Seriously! That's rediculous! I just spelled "ridiculous" wrong ,TAKE THAT SOCIETY! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!_

_Also this summer I went with my friends to the beach and we raced rubber duckies! Except not Jadey, because she hates ducks. That reminds me of when I went to Tori's house and we play Mario Kart Wii, I was really bad at it! Tori also showed me a business card she got from a suspicious man trying to sell something called Ed the Clam, which is a painted clam with a smiley face on it. They cost like $20! Robbie said it would be a waste of money, but it's sooooo cute!_

_One time this summer I was watching this movie, and it was based off a cartoon, and it was a cartoon, and there were these 3 kids and they scammed all the other kids in the neighborhood so they could buy these really big jawbreakers that makes your cheeks puff out like a chipmunk! Bu tit backfired and all the kids were like, NO WAY, WE'RE GONNA HUNT YOU DOWN! And one of the 3 boys has an older brother so they try to find him and get there before the other kids who are trying to get them, and it turns out that his brother is a meanie, but it has a happy ending and everyone became friends! But not the brother, ha ha!_

_I don't like jawbreakers, one time when my brother needed glasses a few years ago he brought a giant jawbreaker to the eye doctor with him. It was multi-colored, and so are sparkly pens! _

_I like sparkly pens._

_Also this summer I watched another movie called Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, and it was really old! That guy Evan only liked blondes, but he wasn't a gentleman, he was a meanie! _

_I watched the movie Psycho with my grandma this summer, it was scary! But my grandma was a lot nicer than Robbie's grandma._

_Anywhoodles, that's what I did this summer._

**Cat's summer is based off my summer, actually – the movies, Ed the Clam, Mario Kart, the smurfs, it's all true!**

**REVIEWS = Homemade Bade-berry muffins**

**Love and Spiderman,**

**See You Next Thursday**


	11. Childhood

**Hi peoples! This chapter was so much fun to write – it's inspired by a segment called The Salt and Pepper Diner that the comedian John Mulaney said. It was so funny that I wrote a story around it featuring some Cade friendship! Whoop Whoop! This chapter is dedicated to Coeur de la nuit, DrizzyJ, Hysterical Insanity (that same thing with the generator happened in summer 2011 during Hurricane Irene. All the power was out, and my neighbors did that. It's such a shame L), TheDreamer006, curly1221, 143denimmermaid, and Jmag-WriterOfAwesomness! Badeberry muffins to all!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Victorious or any of the songs mentioned!**

**#25 – Childhood**

_October 27, 1973_

"Where are we going, Jadey?" ten-year-old Cat asked. Despite being ten, she was small and extremely adorable, with long, dark, curly pigtails tied with ribbons and a short plaid dress.

"Somewhere," the also ten-year-old Jade answered.

They stopped in front of a small, mom-and-pop diner called Incredible Edibles.

It was extremely popular with the locals, and even though the rhyming name annoyed Jade, she had to admit she liked the 50's style diner.

"This is the one with the jukebox, right? Where you can pick 3 songs for a dollar?" Jade asked.

Cat nodded excitedly.

"Perfect," Jade said with a smirk, pulling Cat inside.

They walked up to the jukebox. "How much money d'you have? I have $5,' Jade said, pulling out a five dollar bill.

"I have $4," Cat answered.

"Alright, so $4 plus $5 equals $9, minus $3 for 2 milkshakes leaves us with $6," Jade said, her eyes gleaming.

"I thought you didn't like math, Jade," Cat said, confused.

"Yeah, but that means we can pick 18 songs. So we're going to pick the most annoying song here, and we'll play it over and over again!"

"Why?"

"To see what will happen to people!"

Cat laughed excitedly.

"Alright, we need a _really _annoying song," Jade said, looking at the options.

"How 'bout _Honey?_" Cat asked.

"No, it needs to be WORSE."

"_Sugar, Sugar?_"

"Eck, you can get diabetes just _listening _to that song, it's so sugary sweet, but we need more irritating."

"_Tip-toe Through the Tulips?"_

"Hmm…Maybe…"

_"What's New Pussycat?"_

Jade grinned. "That's it! It's perfect."

"The beginning is like BWONG!" Cat giggled.

They started to put in the 18 plays of _What's New Pussycat _when after 8, Jade stopped Cat from putting in more.

"Wait!"

"Whatty?"

"How about…before we put in another _What's New Pussycat_…if we put in ONE _My Girl_?" Jade asked, smirking evilly.

Cat clapped and laughed, putting it in before using the rest of the money on plays of _What's New Pussycat._

They ordered…and waited.

It played twice. A few people looked around confusedly, wondering why it was playing again.

The third time, people started to get annoyed.

The fourth time, people got full-blown _irritated._

Most notably, there was an old man reading a newspaper at a table who's hands seemed to be shaking, like he was trying not to blow a gasket. He kept glancing over to Cat and Jade, like he was on to them. They innocently sipped their shakes.

The fourth play faded out.

It was dead quiet.

_BWONG!_

As soon as the fifth play started, the old guy threw down his paper and banged his fist on the table. "GODDAMIT!" he yelled, getting up, crossing the room, and leaving, slamming the door behind him.

Jade snickered and Cat tried to stifle her giggles.

The song continued to play.

Six times.

Seven.

Eight.

After eight plays, several people seemed to be considering following in the odl man's footsteps.

The eighth play faded.

Dead silence.

Then, suddenly, _My Girl _started to play.

The diner was overcome with joy. Strangers were hugging, clapping even. They had just endured 16 nonstop minutes of listening to _What's New Pussycat. _If had been you, you'd be clapping too.

Jade told Cat to stop laughing, because she was going to give it away.

_My Girl _ended.

Dead silence.

_BWONG!_

People went absolutely _insane._

NOBODY could handle it. NOBODY.

Of course, Cat and Jade were laughing at the chaos that had caused.

They finally unplugged the jukebox after _thirteen _plays.

And, as Jade tells it, THAT was the best meal of her life.

**All the songs mentioned are from the sixties. If I got anything wrong, please forgive me, I wasn't actually around in 1973.**

**Review, please, bros!**

**Love and Keebler elves,**

**See You Next Thursday**


	12. I'll Always Be There For You

**'Ello, Old Beans! This one is definitely my new favorite! It's actually told form the point of view of Mr. Vega! NOW THAT'S UNUSUAL! This chapter is dedicated to: Coeur de la nuit, Jeremy Shane, curly1221, and DrizzyJ! Virtual hugs to you guys!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Victorious, or the song Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlisle! **

** #101 – I'll Always Be There For You**

_There's two things I know for sure._

_She was sent here from heaven, _

_And she's Daddy's little girl._

_And I thank God for all the joy in my life._

_But most of all…_

Here comes the day I had been dreading since…just about forever. Doesn't every father?

Tori's wedding.

It had been bad enough with Trina, three years earlier. And after today, all my daughters would officially be married.

I walked aimlessly around the house. Tori was getting ready. I could hear her mother and her friends in the room.

"Can _I _do the eyeshadow?" Jade asked.

"You're not going anywhere near my eye with a blunt object," Tori replied.

"I let_ you_ do _my_ eyeshadow at my wedding!"

"Okay, fine, just not something with sparkles."

"And no black!" Holly seconded.

"Awww…"

Holly's father, Arnold, climbed the stairs slowly, took one look at me, and laughed.

"Ha! Even I took it better then you when Holly got married," he laughed.

Before I could answer, I heard something sizzle in the room.

"Cat…are you didn't overheat that?" Trina asked.

"I'm sure!" Cat insisted.

_For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer_

_Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair._

_With all that I've done wrong,_

_I must've done something right_

_To deserve a hug every morning_

_And butterfly kisses at night._

Suddenly the door flew open, and I glanced inside.

My little girl, who really wasn't all that little anymore, was sitting in a chair, with Cat picking up pieces of her hair and curling it. She looked so beautiful, her hair in loose ringlets and her dress seemed to shine, just like her.

"Hi Dad!' Tori called, waving.

_She'll change her name today._

_She'll make a promise, and I'll give her away._

_Standing in the bride room, just staring at her._

_And she leaned over… _

_Gave me butterfly kisses,_

_With her mama there_

_Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair._

Suddenly, she furrowed her eyebrows.

"What's wrong?"

"You're so beautiful…and grown up," I said.

Trina gave me a look.

"Dad, are you going to cry at Tori's wedding too?" she asked.

I glared at the floor.

"Aww, Daddy, I'm still your little girl," Tori said, walking over to give me a hug, her not-very-well pinned in veil falling to the floor. She doesn't seem to care.

I let a few tears escape.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you, too," Tori whispered back.

_"Walk me down the aisle, Daddy, it's just about time."_

_"Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy?"_

_"Daddy, don't cry."_

Suddenly, Cat loudly said, "Awwww!"

"Way to ruin the moment, Cat," Jade said, smirking.

I glanced at Tori's bridesmaids – Trina, Jade, and Cat – and noticed they were all ready too, their hair curled and makeup done. Their dresses were yellow. It surprised me Jade hadn't complained, since she made her hate of yellow so apparent.

_All the precious time,_

_Like the wind, the years go by._

_Precious butterfly,_

_Spread your wings and fly._

Holly looks at the clock.

"It's time!"

And Tori smiles so wide it could've lit up the room.

Her happiness was going to make this all worth it, I just knew it.

We made our way down to the church.

Arnold laughed again.

"Come _on_, David. The least you could do is walk my granddaughter down the aisle with a smile."

I hadn't noticed my face was frozen in an-almost-in-tears state.

"At my cousin's wedding, my brother cut a piece of cake out before anyone else and tried to start a food fight, and now he can't go to family weddings!" Cat said excitedly.

The organ began to play.

_Oh, with all the things I've done wrong,_

_I must've done something right_

_To deserve her love every morning,_

_And butterfly kisses at night._

Trina's little two-year-old son, Victor, was the ring bearer, and her daughter, Aubriana, was the flower girl. It still amazed me that she, who had said she never wanted kids, would have twins.

Victor was able to get down the aisle without a problem, but Aubriana stopped dead in the middle of the aisle.

I heard a few people whispering, "Go, go!"

"I ran out of flower petals," she said, glancing around.

Trina's husband, Mason, ran out into the aisle. "You know, honey, it's not your fault. You see, the church is much too long," he said to her.

She grinned and continued down the aisle, everyone applauding her.

Next the bridesmaids and the groomsmen went down the aisle.

And finally, it was our turn.

Somehow, I smiled, a real true, smile. I guess Tori's unbelievable happiness was just radiating all over the place.

Tori was practically dragging me along, so eager to get to the end of the aisle.

To get to _him._

André.

_I know I've got to let her go,_

_But I'll always remember_

_Every hug in the morning,_

_And butterfly kiss at night._

And then… I gave her away.

He looked just as happy. I'd heard Tori say he hated the tuxedo – it was scratchy, or something – but he didn't seem to mind now.

I could barely pay any attention to what the minister said, I just watched Tori, tears running down my face, but they were tears of not just sadness…of happiness, too.

Then, I heard the iconic words.

"I do," said André.

"I do."

_There's two things I know for sure._

_She was sent here from heaven,_

_And she's Daddy's little girl…_

**Aww, I truly love this one. My absolute number 1 favorite so far.**

**Reviews = Badeberry Pie.**

**Love and salad tongs,**

**See You Next Thursday**


	13. Story

**This chapter is a jab at the classic and usually awful OC STORY. It was a ton of fun to write, and it's dedicated to: mickeymac, DrizzyJ, Jeremy Shane, TheDreamer006, jazzy2297, Hysterical Insanity, ****jjohnson612, and curly1221! I love you guys!**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but the weird-as-CHIZZ OC's featured in this chapter!**

**6 - Story**

Scenario Uno: Jade, Evil Beck, an OC, and a pathetic love triangle.

It's Monday morning and Jade walks in dressed entirely in black a drinking coffee because that's the only thing Jade ever drinks.

"Did you hear there's a new student?" Cat asked, popping out of literally nowhere because she can apparently teleport.

"Really?!" Jade asked in a very OOC tone of voice.

Suddenly a random dude also showed up out if nowhere.

OMGZ HE'S SO FLIPPIN HOT, Jade thought, still very OOC.

Random Guy was wearing an Abercrombie hoodie, a Hollister t-shirt, Vans, Nike shorts, and a bunch of other name brand crap.

"Hi, I'm Bob Bobberson," Random Guy says.

OMFGZ HE HAS A HOT NAME HOLY CHIZZ, Jade thinks.

Random Dude automatically loves Jade and asks her to marry him, conjuring up a ring out of nowhere.

Jade accepts OMFGZZZ.

Then we get a really weird time skip and enter a wormhole because now we're after school at Beck's house.

By the way, this isn't regular old Beck. No, this is Evil Beck.

So Evil Beck plots to MURDER Bob Bobberson, and while he's at it, Jade too. Simply because he can.

He apparently also has the ability to conjure objects out of thin air because he suddenly has a [insert name of random type of gun that sounds SO TOTALLY THRETENING] and he also travels through warp speed because it's magically the next morning.

Evil Beck saunters into school and Bob Bobberson and Jade are conveniently making out in front of the lockers, and Jade is also pouring coffee down her throat every time she comes up for air.

Evil Beck just randomly shoots bullets all over who-knows-where and one hits Jade OMFG but it hits her BUNS OF STEEL and she magically goes unharmed.

Bob Bobberson is somehow able to catch all the bullets with his bare hands and call the police at the same time, becoming a global hero within 35 seconds.

The police come and haul Evil Beck off.

"I'LL GET MY REVENGE YOU'LL SEE YOU'LL ALL SEE!" Evil Beck yelled as he was dragged away. Suddenly he randomly blew up for no reason and died.

Tori, who is just appearing in this fic and not serving the plot in any way, brings 61 mince pies which every eats with comically oversized forks.

El fin of Scenario Uno

Scenario Dos: THE ALL NEW CAT and her OC in shining armor.

Cat is taken to jail for some reason. She ate some bad shrimp and puked on Obama, yeah, we'll go with that.

Okay, so Cat's in jail for puking on Obama, and her cell mate, Stabby McKillkill, decides that she needs a TOTALLY HOT JAIL MAKEOVER OMFGZZZZ.

Stabby pierces Cat's ear, nose, eyebrow, belly button, lip, and tongue with an ice pick, ignoring how unsafe it was and the fact that Stabby was in jail for stabbing someone with an ice pick.

Then Cat is able to use that warp speed portal from Scenario Uno (think the warp speed portal from one of the classic Mario games, I think 2, I don't remember) and we are now 3 months in the future.

BUT GUESS WHAT?!

It was some OTHER girl who puked on Obama! So Cat is free!

BIT OH NOEZ!

CAT IS ALL PRISONERY!

Her hair is now black, not her natural color, like, ugly fake wig black, even though she wouldn't even be able to get dye in jail! WHATEVERS.

She wears a lot if piercings and says her name is LE DREADED CATERINA!

However...

ALL IS SAVED!

Conveniently, the first day Cat comes back to school, A NEW STUDENT SHOWS UP!

His name is Stevie Steve Stevenson!

And Stevie Steve Stevenson is magnetically drawn towards the gang and immediately knows all their secrets and everything about them because he's an OC.

And OCs are all-knowing.

Beck tells him Cat is not acting regular, although it's perhaps because she isn't getting enough fiber and needs to eat a bran muffin (by the way, this isn't Evil Beck from the last scenario. It's Hair Obsessed Beck.)

Jade randomly bursts into OOC tears because HER BFFFFFF IS ACTING ALL STRANGE LIKE OMGZZZ!

Stevie Steve Stevenson walks up to Cat and asks, "Hey, are you alright?"

AND HIS SHOCKWAVE WORDS RESTORE CAT TO NORMAL!

SONIC BOOM!

Also, Cat immediately falls in love with Stevie Steve Stevenson, despite his totally Gary Stu personality, and they get married, move to Ohio, and have 9,685,633,233,086,2126,7645 kids.

The end.

**Love and songbirds,**

**See You Next Thursday**


	14. Tell the Truth

**This chapter is dedicated to: curly1221, Jmag-WriterofAwesomeness, jjohnson612, and DrizzyJ! Did you guys see "Three Girls and a Moose" last Saturday? Honestly, if that was Dan taking a jab at his own fans by throwing an OC and making everyone love him, then it's awesome, if that was a real episode that was supposed to have story and plot, then it wasn't. All the girls were so OOC, except maybe Trina. MY QUESTION: How did Bob Bobberson™ get on TV?**

**#15 – Tell the Truth**

Jade Moments! Jade is very blunt and always speaks her mind, even if it's an _awful _idea.

JADE MOMENT #1: The Great "Irma's Homemade Treats" Kiosk Caper

"I don't _want _to try the "homemade treats" kiosk; you _know _it's going to suck!" Jade argued at Beck. They were at a mall and Beck had just discovered a little kiosk with homemade cookies, cupcakes, and gelato.

"But they look sooo good!"

Beck continued to point out all the things that Jade might like.

"White chocolate gelato?"

"I hate white chocolate, it's copying dark chocolate, and you know how I feel about things that copy each other."

"Black-and-white cookies?"

"What, did white chocolate and dark chocolate team up and create a SUPER FLAVOR?"

After much argument, Jade finally got a small coffee gelato.

She took a bite, and promptly spit it out, right in front of Irma or whoever she was.

"That's disgusting!"

JADE MOMENT #2: Chandeliers are obviously awesome.

The gang had just seen _The Phantom of the Opera _on Broadway, and were now attempting to catch a cab.

Tori was clutching the playbill and glancing back and forth between it and the guy standing next to them on the sidewalk.

"_What_ are you staring at, Tori?" Trina whispered, worried the guy would catch on and think her sister was weird. It wasn't like he was cute or anything – he was at least 50!

"That guy looks kind of like this guy…" Tori said, pointing at a black-and-white photo in the playbill.

Everyone opened the playbills and agreed – he did look similar.

The guy looked over. "Did you see _Phantom of the Opera?"_ he asked.

Jade rolled her eyes – why else would they have the playbills?

"Yepperooni, we did," Robbie said.

"I was in it."

"Really?" Cat asked excitedly.

"Yeah, I was the guy at the beginning with the auction. No one remembers me…"

Jade rolled her eyes again. He was only in it for like, 5 minutes at the beginning, and then a giant chandelier came out and sent sparks everywhere and it was _awesome._

"Well, yeah, you got upstaged by a chandelier!" she said.

JADE MOMENT #3: Dress Shopping Adventures

Jade had been reluctantly dragged along with Cat and Tori to help decide their dresses for prom.

A lady walked out of a changing stall and stared at herself in the mirror.

"Do you think this looks good?" she asked.

"Nope."

**Eh, this one's alright. What did you think?**

**Love and Igor, **

**See You Next Thursday**


	15. See You In Hell

**It's another weird chapter! Yay! And it's dedicated to: Coeur de la nuit, Hysterical Insanity, LittleMissPanda84, DrizzyJ, and TheDreamer006! I'm extremely proud of this one, and of everyone who reads reviews, MY WEEKS SHALL BE MADE.**

**Disclaimer: MEH.**

**#53 - See You In Hell**

It was a simple plan.

They needed a new house.

Jade and Beck had the perfect family - they had each other, 2 mischievous twin sons who Jade had taught all the best pranks, and a little daughter who was named Vermilion, which was Beck's favorite color.

They needed the perfect house to match.

There was a house on the most beautiful road, called Swiss Maple Avenue.

Despite Jade's desire to live there, mostly because of its placement - it was very close to an office supply store that had an entire aisle dedicated to scissors - the only house available was yellow.

Jasper and Percy, the twins, had inherited Jade's hatred of yellow, and subsequently hated the house because of it.

On the contrary, Vermilion loved it, as did Beck.

Beck said he'd paint it.

Jade chose a disturbing shade of maroon. She called it "blood red."

Still, it looked nice.

So they bought the house.

Beck removed the sign in the yard that read "For Sale" and they moved in.

All was well for several weeks.

But then they noticed something.

"Jade?" Beck called through the house. It echoed in the creepily silent house.

"WHAT?!" Jade called back.

Beck found her in the living room, working on a script.

"Did you ever notice the house seems bigger on the inside than the outside?"

"Yes, but I like it."

So they ignored it.

At first.

The house seemed to grow more and more out of balance as time went on. Several months after originally noticing it, Jade was starting to question if the house was somehow physically changing.

But that's not possible.

Even so, even little Vermilion was starting to notice.

The house seemed very small on the outside, yet extremely big on the inside.

Then it happened.

"You liar, there's no new hallway!" Jade heard Percy yell.

"There is too, near the kitchen!" Jasper insisted.

"What're you talking about?" Jade asked, stepping into the room.

"There's a new hallway behind the kitchen, and it's real! I'm serious!" Jasper said frantically.

He seemed terrified by this, even though Jasper and Percy were rarely scared by ANYTHING. It was something they'd picked up from Beck.

Jade went down to check on it, assuming there was just a hallway her sons had never noticed before near the kitchen. They hadn't lived there long, and after all, it was an enormous house.

But Jade didn't remember a hallway being there either.

But when she checked it out, sure enough, there was a long, skinny hallway near the kitchen. It was completely empty, not a single door or window in it.

Just a dead end...

She was unnerved by its eery emptiness, but she was Jade Oliver.

She wasn't afraid of a dumb hallway.

So she, and the other Olivers ignored it.

Until one day several weeks later.

While eating breakfast, Beck noticed something off in that hallway.

"Jade? Wasn't that hallway empty?"

"Yeah, why?"

Peering in, she noticed there was a door at the very end of the hallway.

They were sure there had not been a door there before.

And yet, there it stood.

"It's a prank. It's got to be."

Beck went down the hallway, and slowly opened the door.

And yet, inside, there was a room.

A small, empty room.

There were lights affixed in strange places, giving Beck's shadow an odd look and making it almost seen three-dimensional.

Almost as if it could get up and walk.

They had locks put in, and disposed of the key.

There was no one going into that room.

The day after the lock was in place, another door appeared in the hallway.

They made sure no one ever went inside that new room.

At this point, Jade and Beck knew it.

There was something strange going on.

Every day, doors and windows and lights appeared in that hallway.

It got to the point that Beck and Jade called a construction company to come knock it down.

"Why do you want us to get rid of a hallway and 10 rooms?" a worker asked. It was a strange request.

"We want to put something else there."

And so the mysterious hallway and its creepy rooms were removed.

Several months went by, and all seemed well on Swiss Maple Avenue.

"MOMMY! DADDY!" Vermilion shrieked in the night.

Jade and Beck sprang up and found their daughter in the hall where all the bedrooms were, sitting on the ground outside of the bathroom.

She wordlessly pointed at a staircase.

A steep staircase was in between the bathroom and Vermilion's room.

But...

That wasn't possible.

They were on the top floor.

Beck hesitantly climbed the staircase.

At the top was the hallway.

The hallway they had gotten removed.

All the rooms and windows were in it.

It wasn't possible.

On the ground lay a piece of sheet music.

It was written in a handwriting Beck had never seen before, and titled "Melody of the Changing Seasons."

As if on cue, the song began to quietly play, from the room at the end of the hall.

The one room that they had dared to enter.

Beck was never scared.

But he was now.

They moved out the next morning.

On the immaculately groomed lawn, they placed the same "For Sale" used when they moved in.

However, there was one thing they had never noticed about that sign.

In the bottom left corner, in the very same handwriting used in "Melody of the Changing Seasons", in very small lettering, in Welsh, upside down and backwards, it read:

Gwyliwch Prynwr.

Which translates to:

Buyer Beware.


	16. The Day After Tomorrow

**This one is for the OHSOSWEET reviewers: kittykat71098, LuvBadeForever, DrizzyJ, curly1221, B3sty, and OhSnapItzLara! We hit 100! This is only my second story to do that, and I'm PUMPED! Anyway, this is probably another one of my favorite chapters. In it, Jade is 15. Also, I just watched Paranormal Activity 3, and I didn't think it was scary at all! And I get scared really easily by scary movies! Weird.**

**#70 - The Day After Tomorrow **

It's been 9 years.

9 years in this dumb orphanage.

It was a long time ago, but I remember it, clear as a bell.

If I'm right, and it really was 9 years ago, it happened in 1892.

There I was, all of 5 years old, on the streets. My brother was about 7, maybe he was 8, and we were dead broke. I guess it doesn't matter- at least we were happy.

I know now it was a bad idea, but I didn't think it was at the time. I remember it was his idea. I went along with it. He was my older brother and the only family I had – of course I went along with it.

It was spring, I think. It wasn't hot enough to be summer. We were walking down Main Street, with vendors everywhere and people surrounding us. I have no idea if two poor orphans would stand out, but I guess we didn't.

I don't even remember what borough it was in – definitely not The Bronx, or Staten Island, but that's all I'm sure of.

Anyway, we were out of money for food, so we were going to steal. I don't remember how we managed to get food before that day, but we did. I remember that was the first day we resorted to stealing.

I noticed there was a guy selling bread who was being flanked, obviously distracted, so I walked over and slipped a roll or two into my pocket, flashing the guy a grin in case he looked over.

It worked like a charm and I was so excited it had. I looked for my brother, but I couldn't find him. As tough as I thought I was, it was scary – now I was alone, and I'd also stolen something. Even at age 5, I was able to figure out that this wasn't good.

Then I heard it.

Everyone was yelling, and there were several vendors knocked to the ground.

It was my brother, running through the crowd like it was for his life. It was the dumbest move he could've pulled. He'd apparently been caught stealing and gone into survival mode, grabbing a few apples and upturning the basket completely. If he'd just told the vendor he had no money for food, and maybe used a little of the charm I remember him having, he probably could've taken whatever it was he had been trying to steal and went on with his life.

If I remembered anything about my brother, it was that people _loved _him. I'm sure they liked me, too, but him? _Loved_him, even though I'm sure he was arrogant and cocky.

Me, not knowing what to do, bolted right after him. Us thieves have to stick together, right?

Needless to say, they caught up with us, and quick.

He got taken to one orphanage, and I another. I think his was actually _in _New York – I was taken to Vermont. They wanted us separated, mostly because I was a "problem child." I kicked and screamed enough for both of us when they caught us.

I loved him so much, and now I couldn't even remember his name – my only regret.

It'd been nine years too long. And I was getting out – and soon.

* * *

It was an innocent question.

"Miss Chesterfield?" I asked, using my sweetest voice.

Miss Chesterfield gave me a look. I never used my sweet voice unless I want something, and she knows it.

"Yes, Jade?"

"Do you remember when I first came here? And they told you I was upset because of being separated from my brother? Do you remember his name?" I asked, still using my sickly sugary-sweet voice.

Miss Chesterfield pulled her glasses farther down on her nose in disbelief. "You kicked and screamed and threw tantrums _every day _for _months, _and you don't even remember his name?"

I glared angrily at her. I was furious with myself for forgetting. She didn't need to make it worse.

"No," I answered coldly.

"It's probably in your file somewhere – let me look," she said, pulling open a file cabinet and pulling out a large file.

I bet they had every bad thing I'd ever done – from telling off the lunch aid when I was 7 to starting a food fight just last week. My file was undoubtedly the biggest, but I'd been in the orphanage much longer than most people here.

She sifted through the huge pile of papers, finding one in the very back, crinkled and folded. She scanned the paper.

"Everett. Everett West."

That threw me for a minute; I'd always remembered his name starting with an S.

I nodded slowly.

"Thank you," I said curtly, exiting the room.

Step one was complete.

* * *

Chores day.

I hated chores day.

Once a month, al l the kids in orphanage over the age of 8 had to do a chore. It didn't sound too awful, but they were always awful ones, like clean every window or clean every bathroom.

Mine was to clean the chimney. It always had been.

It always ended up covered in soot, including my hair and my clothes. I had been too short, so they attached little things inside the chimney so I could climb up and clean the top part. They only went so high though, which I think was to discourage me from escaping. I'd not been shy about voicing my distaste for this place.

However, today, I would do it.

For real.

They knew the little things only went up halfway – what they didn't know was that I had a rope.

My only friend in the orphanage, Cat, was on gutter duty. She cleaned all the gutters, which required her to be on the roof.

My plan was to climb as far up as I could in the chimney, throw Cat the rope, and_get out._

But first, I'm going to have to do something risky.

I had to steal money from the safe.

There was a large safe in Miss Chesterfield's office. A long time ago, someone showed me how to crack safe combinations. I'd learned the combination every time the locks were changed, without fail.

I'd already done that last night. I had no idea how much I actually had taken. I just reached in and grabbed a few handfuls. How else was I supposed to get to New York?

I had packed my rough canvas bad with my few articles of clothing and the small locket I've had as long as I could remember. I couldn't open it, no matter how hard I tried. But I know I had it before I came to the orphanage, so it's my one last tie to the life I once had.

I was currently climbing up the little foot things. It was hard to breathe, since it hadn't been cleaned in a month, but it was manageable. I was already covered in a fine layer of soot.

"Cat?" I whisper-shouted up the chimney.

No reply.

"Cat?!"

Still no reply.

I rolled my eyes – Cat was ditzy,

"Cat!"

Finally Cat leaned over to peer into the chimney.

"Oh, hi Jade! Did you bring the – " she started, but I shushed her. This conversation was probably echoing and who know who's listening.

I tossed the rope up to her and she tied it to the side of the chimney. Then I was able to scale the inside of the chimney and climb out.

I coughed as I exited the chimney, but hey, at least I'm free.

I'm really free.

Cat looked upset.

"Are you really leaving?" she asked.

I nodded.

She gave me a hug.

I don't like hugs, but since the chances of me ever seeing her again are slim to none, I hugged her back.

"Where are you going to go?" Cat asked when we pulled apart.

"New York."

"Where in New York?"

I really didn't know. I was sure Everett would've already busted out of whatever orphanage he was in – and probably years ago. He was like that, from what I remember.

Persistent…and sneaky.

Able to get away with it – except the one day it counted.

"Manhattan."

If he wasn't in Manhattan, then he was either in Brooklyn or Queens. Brooklyn's kind of close to Manhattan, anyway.

And with that, I hopped off the chimney and onto the fire escape, waving weakly at Cat as I went.

* * *

New York smelled the same.

As I stepped off the train, that was the first thing I noticed – the smell. You'd think I would forget, but this smell was familiar, comforting.

I just knew, right then.

Everett was here.

And I'm going to find him.

**I KNOW….I just left it there. I might revisit this one day, I'm actually writing this with original characters, but the Victorious characters fit here as well, so I tweaked it to match and I really like it.**

**LETS SEE IF WE CAN GET 5+ REVIEWS. LIKE IT? Tell me! Requests! I take them! Flames? I guess I accept those too.**

**SO HOP TO IT.**

**Love and turtles,**

**See You Next Thursday**


	17. Nature

**This chapter is dedicated to PerfectlyImperfectGirl, Coeur de la nuit, TheDreamer006, kittykat71098, and DrizzyJ! **

**#62 - Nature**

I am silent to most.

I speak, but they don't hear me.

Only one does.

It was long ago that this began.

There were trucks outside the house. A lot of boxes and things.

**I wonder what this is all about.**

A girl suddenly zoomed into view. She has dyed red hair, dimples, and wide, curious eyes. She couldn't have been more than 5.

"Hi!" she said cheerfully.

**Hello, you can hear me?**

The girl nodded frantically.

"Who are you?" she asked.

**I'm not exactly sure.**

She grinned. "Well, that's okay, you can be my friend!"

And so it began.

As strange as she was, being friends with the red haired girl didn't seem so bad.

It was fine until a day a few years later, when the girl was 11.

The red-haired girl was pulling a dark-haired girl by the wrist into the yard.

"Can you hear him?"

The dark haired girl grimaced. "No. It's a tree. Trees don't talk."

**Hello**.

The dark-haired girl didn't even look my way, but the red-haired girl grinned.

"He just said hi, Jade!"

Jade rolled her eyes.

**I don't like her.**

"Trees can't say hi, they're trees."

**I really don't like her.**

Although I saw Jade often since then, my first impression stuck: a cynical, dark, realist of a child.

The red-haired girl had other friends.

There was a kind girl named Tori, who I knew couldn't hear me but pretended for the red-haired girl's sake. However, I think we all knew it was a lie.

There was also Robbie, who carried a puppet. He had been much nicer about it than Jade had, but he had pretty much had the same attitude: I was a tree, and trees can't talk. It was obvious he had a crush on the red-haired girl, but she didn't seem to notice.

There were also Andre and Beck. They sometimes humored the red-haired girl, pretending to have conversations with me. They also seemed nice, but none of her friends had the same imagination as the red-haired girl did.

It had been 11 years since she first discovered me. She sat atop one of my branches.

"What are you thinking?" she asked.

**I'm simply reflecting on the past.**

She furrowed her eyebrows suddenly. "Why can no one else hear you?"

**I wonder that too. It's strange. I'm silent to them, but you hear me, yes?**

She nodded.

"Do you think the sun has a voice?"

**I suppose. It's silent, but no one ever truly tries to listen to it and be its friend, do they? They see it as the sun and nothing more.**

She smiled and closed her eyes, leaning against my trunk.

It was scary, sometimes, to know that she can hear me. I don't know what I am. Perhaps a manifestation of her imagination. Or a ghostly presence. I can think but I have no brain, I can speak but I have no mouth.

I am silent to the world.

And yet, I am the red-haired girl's friend. Most do not believe I am there, that I am just an old dogwood in her backyard, but I assure you I am much more than that.

I am her silent friend.

Silent, simply because most do not take the time to really listen.

**Love and Krabby Patties,**

**See You Next Thursday**


	18. Revenge

**Did everyone have a good Thanksgiving? I did! My family's crazy. We're dysfunctional, but we're definitely entertaining! Anyway, other than your regular review, I'm running a special pole just for you, the ****_101 Themes Challenge: Victorious Style _****readers! Since I recently finished my multi-chap in the Total Drama fandom, I've decided the next will be a Victorious story, and it will either be:**

**A.) A continuation of the hotel story (from chapter 6. It was theme #85 – clueless)**

**B.) A continuation of the story about Jade and New York and stuff (from two chapters ago). Very convincing summary, eh?**

**You decide! Throw it in with the review!**

**The winner will be the next multi-chapter story!**

**Speaking of reviews, this chapter is dedicated to TheDreamer006, Coeur de la nuit, curly1221, PerfectlyImperfectGirl (I think I already know your vote!), and Drizzy J!**

**#95 – Revenge**

I took one last look around my bedroom, but it was hopeless. It wasn't really mine anymore, anyway.

Ever since my parents announced we were moving last month, my house had been hectic. My family had lived in the same New York City apartment for 14 years, not like I remember where we lived before. I don't even _know_ where _w_e lived before.

I lived about 2 blocks from Time Square. The city really never does sleep. I hear people and cars and see lights flashing through my window all night, but I'm used to it. It's at least nice to know we're not alone, because I'm convinced that we are the only people who live in this apartment building. I never see anybody go in or come out, and there's been mail outside some of the doors for months. The only person I'm sure who lives here is this creepy old lady who lives across the hall and has like, 5 dogs.

She hates my brothers.

Shayne is the oldest of us, but he's also extremely immature and he pretty much acts like he's ten or something. I'm like, you're 17. Please. Grow up already. One time I heard he was just smiling at the desk during a test, and when his teacher asked what he was doing, he grinned and announced that he had new socks on.

I can imagine why Creepy Old lady wouldn't like him.

She doesn't like my other brother, Madden, because when he was nine and Shayne was ten, they played hallway baseball and one of them made the ball hit the door. She came outside, yelled at them for about 10 minutes, and then took the ball and went back into her house, or as we call it, her lair.

There's still a dent in her door that nobody ever bothered to fix, and the baseball hasn't been seen since.

She might hate my older sister (and Madden's twin) Lucy, and me, too, because we were watching through the peep hole and the mail slot and just happened to find the whole situation hilarious and we were laughing loudly. But, seriously, come on. I was 6, and she was 7. Get over it. It was 9 years ago.

The only one us I know she doesn't hate is my only little sister Wren. Wren wasn't born when the hall-ball incident happened, so she's still innocent.

Anyway, my bed had had a home-made canopy, made by attaching broomsticks to the bedposts with zebra-printed duct tape and laying a dark purple over it. On the bed, my bedspread had black-and-white owls dancing across the comforter and pillow case.

Unfortunately, I had to take down the canopy and use the plain white bed set that comes with the room.

Yesterday we had packed everything, and today, we were moving – to the suburbs.

Ew.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Everyone! Come to the kitchen with your stuff!" Mom yelled from somewhere in the apartment.

I picked up my backpack, stocked with everything I'd need to survive a 6 hour road-trip to our new town, Summerfield. My backpack is cool, I tie-dyed it myself. Inside I had to my iPod, my phone, a few books, and my beloved stuffed giraffe, Fat Albert.

As I walked out of my bedroom, mentally saying goodbye to it, I saw Shayne charging down the hallway. I jumped back into my bedroom, and saw him try to use this messed up floorboard to launch himself across the hallway. He's tried it _every single morning _since he discovered it ten years ago, and every time, he ends up face-down on the ground.

Sure enough, he just face-palmed into the wood. No one even asks if he's okay anymore.

You know that idiot who is always failing epically at things and is always getting hurt doing them? Every family has one.

Ours is Shayne.

He was about 3 inches away from me, and started pawing at my black high top. "SHAYNE EMMETT WEST. YOU TOUCH ME AND I'LL KILL YOU, HIDE YOUR BODY, CHANGE MY NAME TO PEPITO, AND MOVE TO MEXICO," I said. "You're _so _nice, Jade, that's why you're my favorite sister," Shayne said sarcastically, picking himself up off the floor.

"So! After the ill fated road trip to St. Louis, I've decided where you're going to sit in the van!" my mom began when we rallied in the kitchen, and was met with multiple groans. When we went to St. Louis last summer, I sat in between Lucy and Madden in the backseat, and little did I know that Shayne was in the middle row telling Wren ghost stories and scared her half to death ("And the doll was like, hi!"). Idiot.

"Okay, so Lucy is going to sit next to Wren in the middle row, and Jade is going to sit in between Madden and Shayne in the back!" I gasped. I had to SIT NEXT TO MY BROTHERS FOR 6 HOURS?! No way.

I'm always saying we should get another car, since Shayne and Madden can both drive, but my parents always argue that "no one drives in New York." And I guess they're right. Whatever.

I stood on the kitchen table. "I am not going to sit next to those idiots for 6 hours! I'll _die!" _I argued. No one even responded except my dad telling me to get off the table, stop yelling, and not to call my brothers idiots.

"It's me who's surrounded by idiots, not you," Madden said, not glancing up from his phone.

Lucy rolled her eyes. Lucy's eyes are like no one else's in the family. We all have either blue or brown eyes, but Lucy's eyes are green. That's why I think she was left on my parent's doorstep by some hobo with awesome eyes.

Of course, she begs to differ, but I've never gotten a straight answer on whether or not she was.

"TO THE VAN!" my mom shouted, and she and my dad raced out the door. My mom is completely ditzy, and my dad thinks it's hilarious, and to top it all off, they think they're in their twenties or something.

We all grudgingly followed, except for Wren, who excitedly skipped out the door. Of course she's excited; she's four.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXX**

Several hours later, we were _still _on the road, and if Shayne didn't shut up right this minute, I was seriously going to kill him.

"EIGHT BOTTLES OF LEMONAAAAADDDDE ON THE WAAAAALLLL, EIGHT BOTTLES OF LEMONADE! IF ONE OF THOSE BOTTLES SHOULD HAPPEN TO FALL, SEVEN BOTTLES OF LEMONADE ON WALL!" he sang. For the past hour he had committed himself to singing and finishing the 100 Bottles of Pop on the wall song, substituting lemonade. He's also really off-key and singing in my ear.

Abruptly, he just…stopped.

He picked up his phone and started looking at it.

Lucy turned around in her seat.

"You gonna finish?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

He shook his head. "No."

Madden looked at him. "WE HAD TO SUFFER THROUGH 92 BOTTLES OF LEMONADE, AND YOU'RE JUST GOING TO STOP AT 7?"

Shayne nodded. "I'm tired of that song."

"I'm going to kill you with this pencil, I'm dead serious," I said.

"You guys have wanted me to stop for like, an hour. Aren't you happy? And what's with you and the death threats today?"

"Yeah, but you might as well finish!" I argued.

"No, I want to play Angry Birds," he insisted.

Okay, I'm totally killing him.

"Jade! No killing your brother!" Dad yelled from the front seat.

I shrugged.

"I'll kill you when we get there…in the basement," I whispered to Shayne in a creepy voice.

"Mommy! Jade's gonna kill Shayne in the basement!" Wren yelled.

I facepalmed.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXX**

_Welcome to Summerfield,_ a sign said next to the road. It had been about an hour and Shayne was, unfortunately, still alive.

"WE'RE HERRRRE!" Wren yelled. She couldn't read yet, so I guess Lucy pointed it out to her.

I had gotten Madden to switch seats with me, and he was now telling Shayne all the reasons you can't lick a sidewalk here ("It's _got_ to be cleaner than a city sidewalk. Therefore I shall lick it," Shayne insisted.)

Suddenly, the car stopped in front of a blue house with cream-colored shutters. For some reason, there was a driveway on both sides of it.

"What's up with the two driveways?" I asked.

"It's a two family house. We own one half, and the neighbors own the other," Mom said.

Yay. More neighbors to hate us!

We walked into the house with some of our luggage. It had already been partially set up with some of our furniture, so at least it seemed a _little _like home.

"Alright!" Mom said, staring at a piece of paper. "Shayne's room is the first door on the left of the upstairs hallway, Lucy's is across the hall, Madden's is next to hers, and Jade's and Wren's is next to Shayne's. Any complaints?" she asked.

"Why do I have to share?" I asked.

"Because you had your own room in New York."

Alright, I have to admit, it _is _fair.

Meh. I was the only one with my own room in New York, but Lucy had _volunteered_ to share her room with Wren. Sue me.

The bedroom was peach-colored. It was pretty gross, but I liked that it had a huge window on one wall, with a window seat.

However, glancing outside the window, I realized that there was someone lounging in my driveway.

I ran down the stairs and out the door to confirm that I wasn't going mental or that it wasn't a box or something, but sure enough, it was a person.

A boy with black hair who seemed around my or Lucy's age was sitting in a lawn chair, reading a book, and wearing sunglasses. It looked like he was tanning, even thought it was October. He didn't appear to notice I was there.

"Um, hello?" I asked.

He glanced over and took off his sunglasses.

"Hi."

I raised my eyebrows.

He stared at me for a minute.

"Did a rainbow throw up on your head?" he asked.

My hair is very unique. I always streak it with blue, green, or purple. Today it was all 3.

But still, some strange trespassing boy can't comment on it.

"Better question: Why are _you _in _my_ driveway?" I asked.

He grinned. "So _you're _the neighbor. We haven't had a new neighbor for 2 years," he said.

"Why not?"

He shrugged, before returning to his book.

"Are you going to get out of my driveway or what? Can you leave?" I asked.

"Nope, yours gets all the sun. Mine is in the shade."

I rolled my eyes. If he had been just a tad nicer – like not asking 'if a rainbow threw up on my head', maybe I wouldn't have minded him. I might not be the nicest person ever, but if someone asked me to get out of their driveway, I would've done it.

I ran inside. "MOM! THERE'S A TRESSPASSER!" I yelled. Everybody ignored me.

Suddenly, I saw Shayne and Madden come racing down the hall. "I found a loose step! Look at this!" Shayne said enthusiastically. He started to climb the stairs, and then, when he got to a certain step, he tried to jump the next one.

He landed face-down.

"Isn't that a little dangerous?" Madden asked skeptically.

"Yeah, but that's how I LIVE, ON THE EDGE!"

"There's a trespasser," I interrupted

"Already? Where?"

"Over there," I pointed out the dolor.

They looked out the window for a minute.

"Whatever, pour soda on him, I don't care, there's a bike ramp out back," Shayne said.

"There is?" Madden asked.

"Yeah!" And they ran out the back door.

Hmmm….maybe I _should _pour soda on him.

**Wow…another weird Jade AU story! WOOH!**

**REVIEW AND DON'T FORGET TO VOTE!**

**Love and miracles,**

**See You Next Thursday**


	19. Passion

**This chapter is dedicated to DrizzyJ, PerfectlyImperfectGirl, kittykat71098, 143denimmermaid! The winner of the story "election" was option A! The story, "Mirror, Mirror" is officially up and running! If you guys could skedaddle on over there for a minute to read it (and maybe follow or review), I would be so happy! Seeing as it's almost December, and December is the month of my favorite holiday (CHRISTMAS!) this chapter is Christmas themed….whoo! I tried to capture how Cat might look at Christmas, it's very innocent and cute, I think.**

**#69 – Passion**

**_Cat's favorite things about Christmas_**

1.) THE MOVIES! Oh my gosh, especially all those cute little clay-mation ones! And the one where that guy tries to steal Christmas, and he was green! Ha,ha! And the one where the kid got his tongue stuck to the flag pole! Ha, ha, ha! And Charlie Brown!

2.) THE SONGS AND ALL THE FA-LA-LA-LA'S! I like Jingle Bells best, and We Wish You a Merry Christmas. You know, I always thought they were saying "We _Fish _You a Merry Christmas!" Oh, and that one that Tori wrote last year!

3.) THE PRESENTS! And wrapping paper, I prefer the ones of shiny variety! Oh, and putting ribbons and bows on everything. Plus, it's fun to give people gifts they really like, like when I gave Jade the actual scissors from The Scissoring last year!

4.) THE FOOD! My grandma makes the best stuffing ever! It's got celery and meat and things! My brother put marshmallows in the stuffing one time, and then my grandma put it in the turkey, and then it was ruined, so we went to a Chinese restraint instead. It was still fun though!

5.) SANTA CLAUS! Even though he's kinda creepy, I mean, he breaks into your house and steals cookies! But leaves presents, so it's all good. One time I didn't have cookies and milk, so I left Cheetos and cream soda. It worked! Santa even left a note and said that the Cheetos and cream soda were a refreshing change from the milk and cookies at everyone else's houses. Did you ever notice that Santa's handwriting looks a lot like your mom's?

6.) THE CUTE NOVELTY ITEMS! I like those puppies that are wearing Santa hats and sing songs best!

7.) DECORATING THE TREE! I also like ornaments! We have an eight-foot-tall tree and all our ornaments are cute and from movies and books and things! We have this one that is the Partridge Family bus, and there's a teeny-tiny tree tied to the top, and when you press the door, it sings _"Hello, World, there's a song that we're singing! C'mon get happy! A whole lot of loving is what we'll be bringing, to make you happy!" _I get to put the star on the tree this year, it's covered in silver glitter and even says "The Valentines" on it!

8.) RUDOLPH! I mean, his nose lights up! I wish _my _nose could do that!

9.) SPENDING TIME WITH FAMILY! Every year on Christmas day all my aunts and uncles and cousins come! We always end up at the kid's table though, because my Mom says everyone who's under the age of 18 has to sit there. Didja ever notice the adult table goes on and on forever? How does that even work?

10.) PEPPERMINT BARK! That is the food of the gods, I tell you!

**Short and sweet for today! Please review and check out the new story, I shall have cupcakes for all!**

**Love and floppy disks, **

**See You Next Wednesday (HA HA no it's See You Next Thursday)**


	20. Remember When

**THE TWENTIETH CHAPTER. HALLELUJAH. It's dedicated to curly1221, Writer and Bookworm, DrizzyJ, Amandy110, Jmags-WriterofAwesomeness, and OhSnapItzLara! I HEART Y'ALL HARDCORE.**

**#73 - Remember When...**

Kindergarten

"It's a firetruck!" Robbie said proudly, pointing at his finger painting.

Cat cocked her head.

"It looks like a walrus. I like walruses!"

* * *

First Grade

"OH NO...9+7. I ALWAYS get that one wrong!" Trina said, exasperated.

"Oh really? How 'bout 9+9?" Tori challenged.

* * *

Second grade

The second graders were on their end-of-the-year field trip to the zoo.

"GUYS! Lilly's snapping turtle ran away! So when we get to the reptiles, please don't say anything!" The chaperon whispered.

"How does a snapping turtle even run away?" Jade asked loudly.

"They really can't move that fast," Andre added.

"I thought a raccoon ate her snapping turtle?" Tori wondered aloud.

Needless to say, Lilly did not have a very nice day.

* * *

Third grade

Everyone's least favorite thing: the 8:00 AM bus ride to school.

"Do you have any Halloween candy left?" Beck asked Tori.

"All I have left are Smarties, that always happens," Tori replied.

Jade popped up over the seat.

"Give me the Smarties!"

"What? Why?"

"Because!"

Tori handed Jade the roll of candy. Jade unwrapped it, took one out, snatched a rubber band out of her backpack, and shot the Smartie at the bus driver.

The bus driver pulled over immediately.

"WHO DID THAT?" he demanded.

"Tori!" Jade called cheerfully.

* * *

Fourth grade

"HOLA CLASE!" The Spanish teacher announced.

The students' heads snapped up.

"...I've never seen her walk in. She just...appears," Tori commented.

Everyone agreed.

* * *

Fifth grade

The fifth grade teacher always wrote TGIF every Friday on the board.

He insisted it was bad luck if you erased it before the end of the day.

To see what would happen, Jade erased it.

At the end of the day, the teacher fell down the stairs and broke his collarbone.

Jade still insists it was on purpose.

* * *

Sixth grade

Cat's health class had just finished their drug abuse unit and had to write essays. However, the teacher was thrown for a loop when she asked if Cat wanted to read hers aloud, and Cat's opening line was "I don't understand why people use drugs to have fun, I mean, have you tried Mac n Cheese?"

* * *

Seventh grade

The annual winter concert had come again, and this year the teacher was insistent: all the boys had to wear real, long ties.

Unfortunately, Robbie had no idea how to tie one.

The chorus kids had to meet in the gym half an hour before the show started, and Robbie was wandering around, yelling "HOW DO I TIE THIS?!"

* * *

Eight grade

The fire alarm had just gone off.

Right smack in the middle of graduation.

And it was raining outside.

After everyone had cleared out and come back in, it was confirmed: somebody had accidentally pulled it.

"I think my brother did it, he likes things that say pull!" Cat had said brightly.

**Love and eggnog,**

**See You Next Thursday**


	21. Movie

**I know, I know..ANOTHER Christmas themed chapter. They're just so fun to write! It's dedicated to curly1221, what do u need me 4, DrizzyJ, and PerfectlyImperfectGirl. I'd love to give you all a big hug and a Porsche 9-11 Turbo. This chapter mentions a bunch of Christmas movies and specials, I'm going to try to do ones most of you would be familiar with. Mostly, I used my favorites.]**

**#71- Movie**

**The Gang's Top Questions about Christmas Movies and Specials**

1.) Why was Kevin McAllister's family so full of jerks? (_Home Alone_)

"Seriously, these people had problems! Especially that one brother…he makes Trina look nurturing!" Tori said.

"How about the Uncle? Or that one kid who always drank too much Pepsi and wet the bed?" Andre added.

"Ha, ha, I remember him! His face got mooshed by a chair!" Cat giggled.

2.) What exactly was that weird ball of light that came out of nowhere in the middle of the circle where all the Whos were singing? (_Dr. Seuss's How the Grinch Stole Christmas_)

"Not to mention that they just made up words so the song would rhyme. They should be the new song-writers for the Diddly-Bops," Beck said sarcastically.

3.) What is so horrible about not getting married and working at a library? (_It's a Wonderful Life)_

"Remember that guy's reaction when he learned his wife never got married and worked at the library because he was never born? He looked like another World War broke out! THAT'S SEXIST, LOSS FOR YOU, MOVIE," Jade grumbled.

4.) Wasn't it kind of obvious that Buddy wasn't an elf? _(Elf)_

"He was like 3 feet taller than everyone," Jade said.

"Robbie tried being an elf once. He hit himself with a toy hammer, and he started crying, HA," Rex laughed.

"REX! That was so long ago!" Robbie argued, embarrassed.

"It was 2 months ago."

5.) Why was Rudolph's nose shiny and red, anyway? (_Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)_

"It looks like he walked into a pole or something," Tori said.

"I bet it was a pimple and he had no concealer," Trina sniffed.

6.) How do you celebrate Gish-Gam-flufleer? (_Family Guy_'s Road to the North Pole Special)

"Well, it involves tutus and roller skates," Beck said.

"Sounds like Rob's kinda holiday," Rex sneered.

"REX!"

7.) You can't really get out of jail because people sent a lot of letters, can you? (_Miracle on 34__th__ Street)_

"Better question: Why did they make a movie about Santa Claus going to jail?" Jade asked.

8.) What the _heck _was Scut Farkus's deal? (_A Christmas Story_)

"Why did he chase them every day to and from school? Did he even go to school? Where were his parents?" Tori asked.

"Scratch that – what was up with his hat?"

9.) What was up with the aluminum trees? (_A Charlie Brown Christmas)_

"I always felt bad for Charlie Brown, they were always so mean to him…" Tori said.

"I liked the pink tree with the polka-dots. Why didn't he get that tree, it was better!" Cat argued.

10.) What country was Zigfee from? _(Merry Christmas, Drake and Josh)_

"For starters, we know they say "seven swans a-swimming" as "fleeb ega queeshtee."

**Love and snapshots, See You Next Thursday**


	22. Rival

**Hello, friends! It's almost 2013! How great is that? Anyway, I updated the Introduction chapter, and I think it's a lot better. If you could skedaddle on down over there, just for a moment, and tell me what you think of it, I'd really appreciate it.**

**Dedications: what do u need me 4, THE SWEETEST GUEST EVER (that wasn't their name, but they were just so sweet and nice, and I love them), DrizzyJ, curly1221, and OhSnapItzLara.**

**#67 - Rival**

**TORI'S POV**

We were at a carnival. Robbie played that game where you take the fishing pole and get a duck, and he made this huge deal when he got a duck and over his prize: an ice cube shaped eraser, given to him because his duck had no number on the bottom. When the lady said that this duck was not a winner, he would have to give her another 50 cents if he wanted to try again, Rex said that since the booth said "Every Duck a Winner" on it, and Robbie's duck was, indeed, not a winner, he could sue them for false advertising. So the lady reached down on the floor and picked up a scuffed eraser in the shape of an ice cube. Robbie said it was the greatest prize he'd ever won.

"Really? You've never won a raffle? You never won a contest? You never played this game and get a duck that actually had number?" Cat asked, tilting her head..

"Are you kidding?" Rex sneered. "When he was 7, he was in an Easter egg hunt where all the eggs are brightly colored in an open field, so all you have to do is run in and grab some eggs, and Robbie ran, face planted just running across the starting line, and then insisted his nose was broken, and his mom called the ER, and he had to leave. So, yeah, Robbie is winning-deficient. He seriously just lost a game where everyone wins."

"REX!" Robbie yelled. "And I was _tripped _by Daisy Sue Benton, for your information. And my nose was defiantly dislodged, at the very least," he insisted.

Cat stopped short. "I want cotton candy. Be right back!"

We watched her run to the little food stand and get in line.

We continued to walk around, talking, when Cat ran up to us with a huge cotton candy in her hand.

"You know who the guy standing in front of me in line looked exactly like? Scotty Mullins!" she exclaimed.

"Oh god, I hope it wasn't actually him," Beck said. Jade glared him. "For _his _sake, Jade, not ours."

"No one else I've ever seen has _that _many freckles," Jade said in a matter-of-fact tone of voice.

"He gives redheads a bad name!" Cat added.

"Who's Scotty Mullins?" I asked.

"Back in elementary school, Scotty Mullins was the neighborhood bully. He was, what, a year older than us?" Andre asked.

"A year or two - and he picked on _everyone. _He didn't care if you were in kindergarten or what, we were all his victims. Then came the day Jade came to school," Beck said.

"You were new, right?" Andre asked Jade.

Jade nodded. "He pushed me down into the snow." I just tell that Miniature Jade had done _something. _

"Jade waited until he wasn't looking, took a running start, jumped on his back, and punched him and slapped him while he spun around in circles screaming and trying to throw her off," Beck said.

"Didn't you get suspended for a week?" Robbie asked.

"_Two_ weeks – and I bet I'm _still _the neighborhood hero. My only regret is that I did it on school property. No, I take it back, that made it better," Jade said smugly.

**Love and Warp Whistles,**

**See You Next Thursday**


	23. Shut Up

**This chapter is based on a book I once read about crazy things that customers ask in a bookstore. I forget the title, but it was really funny.**

**It's dedicated to: CutesyBunny, DrizzyJ, , PerfectlyImperfectGirl, curly1221, and what do u need me 4! **

**#58 - Shut Up**

Tori worked at an antique/used bookstore part-time, and she really did like her job. However, society apparently wasn't used to antique bookstores, and the customers were constantly asking her the craziest things.

One man walked into the bookstore and up to the counter.

"I read a book in the seventies, and I don't remember the title, or the author, but I think it was blue, and it was funny. Do you know the one I'm taking about?"

* * *

Another costumer walked in. He browsed the books for a short while, but eventually came up to the desk.

"If someone wanted to steal your most expensive and valuable book, where might that someone look?"

* * *

A girl who looked to be about Tori's age, maybe a little younger, walked in.

"Do you have a copy of Little Woman?"

"Actually, we just sold it yesterday. Sorry," Tori replied.

"Have you read it?"

"Yeah. I thought it was really good."

The girl smiled and plopped down in the armchair near the desk. She pulled a notebook out of her backpack, and said, "Good, could you tell me about it? Because I need to write a book report on it by tomorrow."

* * *

A boy walked in, fresh from school, and picked up a took out a pen and a pad of paper and took a few notes, and then came to the front desk.

"Excuse me, I'm writing a report for history and want a second opinion. Would you say that Adolf Hitler is similar to Voldemort?"

* * *

One customer brought a book up to the counter and told Tori he wanted to buy it. Tori smiled at him.

"Alright, your total is $13.01," she said, putting his book in a bag.

To her surprise, he slammed his fist down on the table. "Absolutely not. I will pay you $12.99 for the book, but nothing starting with the number 13. Do you want me to have bad luck? Do you want me to walk outside of the store, get hit by a steamroller, and die?!"

* * *

Someone came up to the desk with a book about birds.

"Have you ever seen a pregnant bird?" she asked.

"No..."

She slammed her fist down on the table. "THAT'S BECAUSE THEY DON'T EXIST!"

* * *

A short man came up to the counter.

"Do you have brown eyes?" he asked, peering at Tori.

"Yes."

He backed up. "My mother told me to never trust anyone with brown eyes."

"But _you_ have brown eyes."

"Oh."

* * *

A small boy came up to the desk, holding a battered copy of the first Harry Potter.

"How come Harry just accepts that he's a wizard, watches his cousin grow a pig tail, goes with a giant into a secret alley to buy wizard equipment, but can't believe that there's a platform nine and three-quarters?"

* * *

A woman walked up to the counter holding up a biography.

"Do you have this without pictures?"

"No. The photographs are part of the book."

"But I don't like pictures."

Tori shrugged. "Sorry."

"...Could you cut them out of the book for me?"

* * *

A man placed a book on the counter, and told Tori he wanted to buy it. As she was ringing it up, he said, "Wait, is this book used?"

"Yes."

"So other people have touched it?"

"Probably."

He put the book down and backed away.

"Then I don't want it."

**Love and empty chairs at empty tables,**

**See You Next Thursday **


	24. Memory

**Well! It's been over 6 months since I started this story!**

**This chapter is dedicated to the most wonderful reviewers a girl could ask for: Sylkia (my personality doppelganger :3), PerfectlyImperfectGirl, curly1221, DrizzyJ, jjohnson612, Guest (Salt?), cutesybunny, and what do u need me 4!**

**#46 – Memory**

* * *

She remembers.

Her memories have faded, and are most likely somewhat incorrect – a little room can seem huge to a small child – but that doesn't mean she doesn't remember.

Her bedroom seemed enormous. It had a brown carpet, and her bed was in front of the radiator. Her bed was made of metal painted white, and she had all her stuffed animals – bears, bunnies, and duckies.

She shared it with 2 other children, a boy and a girl. She's not sure if they were older or younger, but her brother had a racecar bed and he loved superheroes. Her sister's bed was identical to hers and her favorite toy was that thing you pushed and the multicolored balls would pop around.

In her bedroom, there was a fish tank containing one fish and a snail. Her siblings had hated the snail, but the fish was beloved. Its name was either Sunday or Sundae, although she doesn't know because she couldn't read or write at the time. She remembers when the fish died. She always thought it was because her dad accidentally dropped him or something when he was cleaning the tank – she distinctly remembers that fish dead on the ground – but it might've had something to do with the snail. Maybe her siblings simply blamed it on the snail because of how much they disliked it.

* * *

She remembers her parents.

Her mother was deathly afraid of rats – her brother once put a plastic rat on the ground in the kitchen and nearly gave their mother a heart attack.

Her father was often working, but read to her whenever possible. She remembers him reading _Arthur's Chicken Pox _to her in the kitchen.

She remembers their bedroom. Their bed had been huge – it took her several tried to jump up there – and had a teal bedspread. She once watched _Clifford the Big Red Dog _in there.

* * *

Her parents and sister don't agree with these memories.

They insist she doesn't have a brother. They never had a fish. Her mother isn't afraid of rats.

It's because of all this and more that Tori Vega suspects that, just maybe, she isn't Tori Vega at all.

**Love and suicide bomber Gavroche,**

**See You Next Thursday**


	25. Masquerade

**This chapter is dedicated to my lovely reviewers: Fairytale Love and Chocolate, Guest, Clarity23, what do u need me 4, Hayley, and curly1221!**

**#12 - Masquerade**

Beck Oliver was a beautiful boy - there was no denying it.

However, he didn't exactly have much of a personality.

Think beyond his looks. Think of the first personality trait you can come up with about him.

He's calm, yes. He isn't easily frightened, yes...

But is he flamboyantly happy or morosely sad? Is he gloomy or humorous? Is he nonsensical or logical? Brilliant or daft? Abrasive or soft-spoken? Daring or cautious? Brave or cowardly? Or is he one of the millions of possibilities in between? Most people are so many different characteristics, in so many shades and depths, combined.

Beck is hard to place.

He doesn't seem to be anything, really. Nothing beyond average.

Averagely smart. Averagely kind. Averagely happy. Averagely outspoken. Averagely everything.

That isn't the truth, though.

Beck is a true genius, with an I.Q so high it could frighten even the smartest of know-it-alls.

He's a pessimist and thinks of the worst-case-scenario towards every situation. You wouldn't know, but he is. He seems much more like a realist, even an optimist to some, but he isn't at all. He didn't know the answer to question 23 on the Biology test; he assumes he's going to fail. Jade is late to his house; she's been kidnapped or murdered. That's his mindset.

He isn't fearless. Sure, he isn't easily scared, but he is afraid of the dark. It's childish, and he knows that, but his mind twists around images in the dark. It's just a sweatshirt thrown over a chair; in the dark, it looks too much like a face with a too-wide smile. It's the shadow of a tree branch coming in through the window; it appears to be a figure slithering across his RV.

He also has one other very strange fear: mild chromatophobia, the fear of all colors. He insists he really doesn't have it. It's simply a strong distaste, and it's only bright colors he doesn't like. That's why he's typically dressed in drab or dark colors.

(He'll never admit to it, but Cat's hair - and Jade's when she puts colored streaks in it - drives him mad. He hates it.)

Don't listen to him, though. He's a chromatophobe, even if he'll never admit it to himself.

Beck loves nonsense. He may be brilliant, but logic gets so boring. Logic can simply get you from one point to another. Imagination can take you anywhere. That's one of the reasons he puts up with Cat's hair; she's so nonsensical and imaginative. It's hard not to enjoy her company.

This is who Beck is - but did you know any of that?

No.

You didn't.

He doesn't show it.

He wears a mask; a mask of this average person who is, presumably, going to live an average life. You wouldn't imagine that he would even die in an interesting way - he'd pass of natural causes, in his sleep. Beck doesn't want that. As absolutely insane and bizarre as it sounds, he wants to be killed by a vending machine.

Yes, a vending machine.

After learning that vending machines - somehow - kill 13 people annually, Beck decided that he wants to be one of them.

It sounds deranged, yes?

There's reasoning behind it.

He just wants - for one shining moment - to be remembered or acknowledged for being something, anything, besides good-looking.

Maybe, if a vending machine gets him, someone will say, "God bless him, he went out big."

**Love and interrupting cow jokes,**

**See You Next Thursday**


	26. Thoughts

**I've written so little for Robbie, even though I love him so much. So here we go: one of the very few Robbie-centric chapters you're gonna get. By the way, we're over a quarter of the way to 101! Go us! **

**(This is dedicated to jjohnson612, Sylkia Whacamolia (That would be fun. Imagine the Directioners!), Clarity23, Guest, curly1221, and Fairytale Love and Chocolate for their OHSOSWEET reviews!)**

**#78 - Thoughts**

Robbie Shapiro is not a boy many girls like. He's a bit awkward and strange. He has a small afro.

Oh, and he carries a cynical puppet.

Sometimes, he feels so unloved.

He doesn't feel loved by his family sometimes. Maybe "unloved" isn't the word he's searching for. "Forgotten" fits the bill much better.

In a family with 12 brothers and sisters, Robbie feels he doesn't stand out for a single thing. He doesn't score the winning touchdown all the time the way his older brother Isaac does. He doesn't play the piano by ear like his younger sister Egan. He's not a certified genius like his little brother Chase. He's not much of anything in this family of superstars.

The biggest thing he stands out for is his puppet.

Not a single Shapiro child has anything like Rex.

That's one of the main reasons he hangs on to Rex; without him, he would simply be forgotten in the mess of chaotic whimsy that is the Shapiro clan.

(No, really. He's been forgotten about. One Christmas, Robbie's Aunt Lilly brought presents for each child. Guess who slipped her mind.)

Sometimes he feels unloved by his friends. He's the butt of so many of their jokes.

It's not his fault he's the way he is.

And then there's the girl problem.

Sometimes he just thinks.

Thinks of how many people have sat next to him on a bus or train, how many people have sat next to him at a school assembly or a play.

What he doesn't think of is how many people have sat next to him on purpose with their fingers crossed in vain hope that he'll talk to them.

I'm sure somebody has out there has.

Robbie disregards whenever someone sits next to him. Chalks it up to insufficient seating, and that's that.

Imagine if he could see all the people who have say by him or approached him, secretly wanting to speak with him.

Just imagine.

**Love and broadcast signal interruptions,**

**Follow Those Owls**

**(My very first Love and... with my new penname! I'm so excited.)**


	27. Apologize

**[NOTE: I've decided to stop saying every single reviewer in every single chapter. Every once in a while I'll recognize the frequent reviewers. Just know that if you ever review, you are eternally thanked!]**

**I'm gonna try a next generation chapter again! (Because you know, I'm soooo good at those...*cough* not *cough cough*)**

**#41 - Apologize**

It started with a phone call.

Jade's phone rang. Jade would always stand by her insistence that Caller I.D would rot her children's brains, so she didn't have it on the landline.

(She was starting to regret this decision, as you can only pick up so many telemarketers before wishing you had "Call Zap".)

"Hello?" She grumbled.

"Hello, is this Mrs. Oliver?" a woman's voice asked.

"Yes."

"I'm Riley's teacher. Today she got into a bit of trouble with another student."

Jade smacked her forehead. Her five-year-old daughter, Riley, was a carbon copy of herself. It got her into "a bit of trouble" all the time. She was sassy, sarcastic, and didn't like rules. Not exactly what kindergarten teachers wanted to deal with.

"They were reading picture books in partners, and I don't know what Riley said to her partner, but it made her absolutely panicked. When you come to pick her up, I think you should have her apologize to her partner, because she won't do it because she's insisting that she didn't do anything wrong."

Sounded like Riley to Jade.

"What was her partner's name?"

"Cassandra Shapiro."

Shapiro. The name sounded vaguely familiar, but she couldn't place it.

At 3:30 when she came to pick up Riley, she decided that she would just make Riley apologize to this Cassandra and be done with it.

When Riley came out of school, in a single file line with the rest of her class, she was brooding.

"I got in trouble for no reason today, mommy," she quibbled.

"I know, your teacher called me about it. Can you show me Cassandra?"

Riley took Jade by the hand and led her to a girl with frizzy, coffee colored ringlets who was talking to her mother.

"Go apologize," Jade urged.

"But I didn't do anything wrong!"

"I don't care, you made her upset. Go apologize."

Riley tapped Cassandra on the shoulder sharply. "I'm sorry," she muttered.

Cassandra sniffled.

"Are you Riley?" Cassandra's mother asked.

Riley nodded.

"Where's your mommy?"

Riley pointed at Jade.

"Hi," Jade said.

"Hi hi!" Cassandra's mother said, a bit too animate for Jade's taste.

She reminded Jade of someone, although she couldn't place who.

"Now, what exactly happened today?" Jade asked the girls.

"Well, I was reading a poem that went like this: 'Quick berry! Quack berry! Pick me a blackberry! Train berry, trap berry, trickety-track berry! Rumble and ramble in blackberry bramble, billions of berries for blackberry jamble'," Cassandra said.

"And?" Jade didn't see where this was going.

"That's not an important part of the story," Riley mumbled.

"So then we were reading a story and I read this part that said 'Are you my mommy'?"

"Yes, and?" Jade still didn't see how this had to do with Riley.

"And then Riley said, 'No, your mommy is dead because she burned up on the ceiling."

Jade smacked her forehead again. Seriously?, she thought.

"Well, I apologize for that one. Sorry for Riley's...excessive Riley-ness today," Jade said, shaking hands with Cassandra's mother.

As they walked to the car, Jade couldn't shake the feeling that she'd known Cassandra's mother from somewhere before.

**Love and blue Jolly Ranchers because the other flavors could never dream of being that good,**

**Follow Those Owls**


	28. Murderer

**This is the best idea I've had in a VERY long time – I'll leave it at that. This theme has stumped me for such a long time!**

**#33 – Murderer**

The date was April 10th.

That was the date the gang was in Sikowitz's class when the P.A. system crackled.

The school was going into lockdown.

A 15-year-old girl named Ellie Ellis had been murdered just a block from Hollywood Arts less than an hour ago. She had been on her way to school. Her body had just been found in the bushes.

The school was in lockdown for half the day when they just decided to send everyone home in response to the flurry of phone calls they'd received from concerned parents.

The one the murder affected most was Beck.

He had known Ellie; she had been his "book buddy" – a younger child who you read out loud to – back when he was in fourth grade. She was one of the sweetest girls imaginable. Every year on Valentine's Day, she handmade over 500 valentines for every student at her school, just so no one would be without a valentine. Each included a Hershey Kiss and was hand-delivered with a smile between periods and at lunch. No one ever saw Ellie without a toothy grin; she never said anything derogatory about anyone. Of all the people to get murdered, the last person you'd ever want was Ellie Ellis.

To add insult to injury, she had been murdered so brutally the funeral was not going to be open-casket.

To Ellie's funeral, everyone wore white. It was a happy, pure color; the color of angels. Her gravestone read:

"_In memory of the lovely Elliana "Ellie" Madeleine Ellis _

_March 19, 1998 – April 10, 2013._

_Wherever she goes, there's laughter."_

There were tulips of all kinds – Ellie's favorite flower – around the grave, as if a rainbow was surrounding it. Beck made sure that his tulips were the perfect shade of orange; the kind you see when the sun has just started to rise, with soft undertones of pink and yellow.

Not an eye was dry, not even Jade's.

* * *

The date was May 10th.

That was the date the gang was in Sikowitz's class when the P.A. system crackled.

The school was going into lockdown.

This seemed like a sick joke to everyone – it _couldn't _be…

But it was.

This time, a 17-year-old boy named Oliver had been murdered. Truthfully, he had not been very well-liked around Hollywood Arts. He was cynical, quiet, sarcastic, and enjoyed insulting people in French. However, he could play piano like nobody's business, and he composed. Even the people who despised Oliver had looked forward to his section of the showcase, where he always played one of his own songs. Everyone knew he'd go far with such a talent.

The gang had not liked Oliver, not one bit. But this was just scary.

The similarities between his murder and Ellie's were eerily horrifying.

The same date, exactly a month apart…

Both were Hollywood Arts students…

And, creepiest of all: they both murdered in broad daylight, on the way to school, in the _exact same spot. _This is when the police realized that they had a serial killer on their hands, who would most likely strike again on June 10th.

Oliver had a few bruises and things, but nothing like Ellie's mutilation. The theory was that Oliver had fought back, and fought back hard. Whereas Ellie was abnormally short and small, only 4'8 at15 and weighing no more than 80 pounds soaking wet, Oliver was on the other end of the spectrum: he was 6'8 and extremely muscular. Whoever the killer was probably had a harder time taking Oliver down, which baffled the police, considering all of this happened at 7:30 in the morning on a sunny day.

Exactly like Ellie, everyone attended Oliver's funeral. He may have been a tad bit annoying, but he had had such a bright future. He deserved some respect.

They played a recording of his song entitled _Song of a Thursday Morning in October_, which was arguably his best. His gravestone read:

_"Here lies Oliver Dean Elliot, whose piano playing will forever entertain the angels in the great world beyond._

_December 31, 1995 – May 10, 2013"_

Following the portion where everyone paid their respects, they played a recording of what was most likely Oliver's saddest song, _Melody of the Sea in a Storm. _

It didn't matter that he hadn't been well-liked; yet again, not an eye was dry.

* * *

Month after month, the police were baffled again and again. They didn't know how the murder could've kept his killings up so long; he or she always murdered a Hollywood Arts student at roughly 7:30 AM on the tenth of every month.

The date was October 10.

Beck sat in his RV, staring intently at his reflection in a cracked mirror.

One of Oliver's songs that they had played at his funeral, _Song of a Thursday Morning in October, _was running repeatedly through his head. How coincidental; it _was _a Thursday morning in October.

He reminded himself of how Ellie would never get to brighten even the cloudiest days with her infectious laughter.

He reminded himself of how Oliver would never play another tune.

He reminded himself of all the things the victims would never get to do again: a senior girl named Ireland who had been June's victim would never bake her flawless M&M cookies ever again; in July the victim was a girl named Snow who collected snow globes because of her name and was as peppy as could be would never yell another cheer; a bookish freshman girl named Nora who had been murdered in August would never be seen curled up in random places with a huge novel ever again; September's victim, a sophomore named Freddy would never again suddenly begin to dance in the hallway, laughing and prompting everyone to join in.

Never again would any of them do _anything._

Beck sighed, the boy in the mirror mimicking him.

He should of just turned himself in the day he murdered Ellie.

**Love and terrible fashion advice,**

**Follow Those Owls**


	29. Frustrated

**I did another parody quite a while ago; that was a general parody of OC stories. This one is about the ever-popular bade pregnancy story.**

**WE GON PARODY THIS SHIZNIT.**

**#5 - Frustrated (at these stories)**

Jade has just learned she is pregnant 24 seconds ago, although it is not specified how (the angel of the Lord appeared?) and is already having cravings, because PREGNANCIES WORK LIKE THAT.

Deal with it.

(The author isn't going to mention how old Jade is. We're just supposed to assume she's in her early twenties or so.)

It's 6 in the morning, because everyone feels the need to get up and BE PREGNANT, and Jade runs out of her bathroom that is connected to her bedroom (since it's unbelievably easy to get a job in music and acting, Beck and Jade are world famous and SUPER RICH OMFGZZZ, and Beck and Jade each have their own personal bathrooms that are bigger than most people's entire houses. No, really. Jade's is 3 floors and includes an escalator) and Beck is conveniently awake although he does not have an alarm clock or any real purpose to get up.

"BECK, I'M PREGNANT, OMGZ," Jade yells in her most OOC tone of voice.

"OMG what are we going to name them?" Beck asks, equally OCC, and he is also automatically assuming that Jade is having multiples even though there's literally no way of him knowing that. I'm not even gonna comment on how energetic he is 5 seconds after getting up or the fact that his first concern is their names.

"I WANT COFFEE!" Jade screams at the top of her goddamn lungs, as this is a given.

Instead of, oh, I don't know, making coffee in the kitchen, Beck drives all the way to Starbucks (even though in Victorious, it's called Jet Brew) and orders coffee as black and Jade's soul while the author pats themself on the back for thinking of that metaphor even though it's been established that Jade likes her coffee with two sugars. Oh well.

(Please note that Beck didn't even get out of his pajamas.)

POV SWITCH!

**Beck's POV**

I magically appeared back at the house and this entire trip to Starbucks and back took all of 3.1415926 seconds.

I walked inside and the author takes the next 30 paragraphs or so to describe every single room in the house, what room is my favorite, what room is Jade's favorite, the front yard, the backyard, our pool, our jacuzzi, and our hot tub.

I walked inside again because apparently the author forgot that I walked inside about 30 paragraphs ago before they started describing the house.

Despite the fact that our house is massive, Jade is in front of me and making out with me and drinking coffee simultaneously because she is The Flash.

And then -

A WILD POV SWITCH APPEARED!

**Jade's POV**

I stopped licking Beck's tonsils long enough to realize that MY BABIES ARE KICKING!

"BECK OMFG THE BABIES ARE KICKING!" I yelled, ignoring the fact that the babies do not have feet yet and that we still don't know if I'm even having more than one baby yet.

_Omfg yay_, Beck thought, because the author forgot that we were in Jade's point of view.

Jade can read minds now, guys.

CUE POV SWITCH!

**Nobody's POV**

.

.

.

.

.

(Yep. I'm calling out everyone who uses "Nobody's POV" in place of "Third POV" or "Narrator's POV", including my former self, because I know for a fact I did that in my first few stories.

Seriously, guys. If it was "Nobody's POV", nothing would ever happen.)

**Third POV**

Jade finally conjured up the sense to actually visit the doctor; however, we apparently require a detailed description of the car ride over.

"GOD BECK YOU ARE SO {bleep}ING STUPID!" Jade screams as we suddenly switch tenses.

Beck does not respond as he is attempting to drive and eat Kentucky Fried Chicken at the same time.

"DON'T IGNORE ME YOU LITTLE {bleep}!"

In between steering with his feet and wolfing down his chicken, Beck manages to say, "Calm down, babe."

(He actually managed to stay in character for 3 whole words and a comma! New record!)

Jade has a random epiphany and begins to cry OOC tears. "I'm such a terrible person!"

However, there is no time for self hate as Jade suddenly goes into labor! OMFG!

"EW JADE YOU PEED ON MY CAR!" Beck squealed as we switch tenses again.

"MY WATER BROKE, YOU IDIOT! OMFG!"

Realizing that Jade had, in fact, not peed on his car, Beck FLOORED IT and they brake every traffic law ever put in place! This is apparently not an issue!

Well, it isn't until a patch of ice shows up out of nowhere! Because, you know, random patches of ice just show up.

In California.

Sure.

Anywhoodles, OMFG, THE CAR SKIDS OUT OF CONTROL AND THEY CRASH INTO A GUARD RAIL, FAINT, AND HEAR SIRENS!

(Everyone knows that ambulances just show up miraculously 2 nanoseconds after an accident. Get with it.)

**Jade's POV**

WHY CAN'T I SEE ANYTHING?! ALL I SEE IS BLACK AND DOCTORS ARE TOUCHING ME! WHERE IS BECK?!Q?!

OH WAIT

IM CURRENTLY GIVING BIRTH

SCREW BECK.

**Beck's POV**

Despite the fact that I hit a guard rail and passed out, I am completely fine and having an aneurism with worry over Jade and my unborn children!

"Beckett?" the doctor asks even though it was never established that my name is Beckett. "Your wife is completely fine and was only in labor for 20 seconds and had SEPTUPLETS! YAY SEVEN KIDS CONGRATS! They are all 10 pounds and perfect even though they were in a car accident moments before birth, were born premature, and are septuplets which has never been achieved without fertility drugs before!"

(The author then apologizes for knowing nothing about birth.)

I entered Jade's hospital room with one uninterrupted leap and saw her holding all 7 of our kids with one arm even though this is physically impossible! I started making out with her for an hour until our nameless newborns all said their first words an hour after birth which which were all very advanced words such as "psychology" and "bowel movement"!

"What will we name our perfect angels of perfection?" I asked redundantly.

Considering there were six girls and one boy and this is a fanfiction, all the girls need ridiculous names that nearly no one has in real life and the boy needs a really common name!

The kids' names are:

Sunniva Angelica Noelani

Bellasophia Alia Oceraina

Ophelia Shanelle Sybill

Ariday Hurricane Mikayla

Wendiana Angelina Fiona

Oliviana Imogene Cassidy

Dave

PERFECT!

And they all lived happily, cliche-y ever after!

OMFG SUSHI.

**Love and butter-flavored cooking spray,**

**Follow Those Owls**


	30. One Day

**THE THIRTIETH CHAPTER! **

***disco ball drops out of ceiling***

**I'm so glad I finally got that bade pregnancy parody out. I've had the beginning done forever and just couldn't finish it.**

**This chapter is a MUSICAL! Not a song fic; A MUSICAL.**

**ONE DAY MORE: VICTORIOUS STYLE (One Day More is from Les Mis, in case you didn't know.)**

**#43 - One Day (More)**

{Context: It is the day of our beloved gang's graduation from Hollywood arts. They stand alone on a stage.)

TORI:

One day more...

Another day, another destiny...

On the road to high society

The people who will one day see my name in lights

Will surely see it a second time.

JADE:

I'll finally live after today!

No more high school, just script pages...

TORI:

One day more!

BECK:

Tomorrow I'll be worlds away...

Off to New York, my life has started.

ROBBIE:

{staring wistfully at Cat} One more day all on my own...

CAT:

Will there be Bibble out there?

REX:

{snickers} One more day of her not caring.

ANDRE:

One day more!

TORI:

One more day until I go

Off to try to make it in this business

Jade:

Hopefully I'll never see Vega there!

ALL:

The time is now! The day is here!

BECK:

One day more!

ROBBIE:

One day more until I prove it!

That I'm not a stupid kid!

I'll make it out in this world

And they'll all have to witness it!

REX:

Sure, Rob...

CAT:

One day more!

TRINA:

{bursts in from stage right}

I'd like to see 'em try

My talent beats 'em all

If I still haven't made it,

There's no chance for them at all!

OTHER GRADUATES:

{enter from stage left}

One day more to a new beginning!

All the world will know our names!

We'll be on the walk of fame!

THE PEOPLE WILL HEAR US SING!

TORI:

One day more!

ANDRE:

We'll all show the world

Why we were singled out

Why our talents were noticed

It is our names that they will shout!

BECK:

One day more!

TORI:

Tomorrow we'll all be worlds away!

Tomorrow is the judgment day!

ALL:

Tomorrow we'll discover what our God in heaven has in store!

One more dawn!

One more day!

_ONE_

_DAY_

_MORE!_

{stage goes black, curtains fall, audience bursts into applause}

**Love and the ninth Doctor who was definitely my favorite,**

**Follow Those Owls**


	31. Smile

**Today's chapter will touch on an interesting topic: bullying from the point of view of the bully. It's set many years after the gang graduate high school, and although I myself was never a bully, I hope I got it right.**

**#3 - Smile**

**(An Open Letter to the Girl I Bullied in Middle School)**

* * *

_For the bullied and beautiful_

* * *

Dear Kylie Wedgwood,

There's a little known fact about me that I know you know. In middle school, I was a bully.

And I'm sure you remember, because my victim was you.

Everyone has their own middle school horror stories, whether they were bullied or not. Mine include getting kicked off the cast list for the school play because I "couldn't act or sing". It was because of my horror stories, all of which are similar to the one above, that I decided to go to a performing arts school. I believed they were wrong. I told myself they were wrong. And I overcame it.

Doesn't that sound ironic to you? I bet you're laughing. Tori Vega, the one who tortured you incessantly for 3 years, is talking about how she had to believe they were wrong about her.

I remember the day I met you. It was the first day of sixth grade. You had the most infectious laugh I'd ever heard and the most imperfectly perfect smile. Your teeth were the slightest bit crooked, but the thing I really remember about your smile was its limits. You never smiled so people would like you or because you were being polite. You only ever smiled when you meant it and never when didn't.

To this day, I can't tell you why I picked you. Maybe it's because you were the slightest bit off, if you know what I mean. So many people strive to fit in during middle school. It seemed like you were trying to believe the exact opposite.

Maybe it's because you had a strange last name and freckles. Maybe it's because you never censored a word you said, yet you never swore. Maybe it's because I was just mean. I don't know why.

It wasn't just me, I'm sure you remember. It was me, Lucy, Katie, Jaycee, and Layla, We worked as a terrible team; Jaycee made up the best rumors and Katie was best at snide comments and Layla could pull a mean comment out of her hat like it was nothing, but, without a doubt, I was the ringmaster, the one who came up with the best insults. However, I never associated what we were doing with "bullying". I thought bullies were big, mean boys who hung out in the alley behind the school, smoking, and holding kids' arms behind their backs until they cried. I thought we were just playing around.

I apologize for the fact that I don't remember a thing we said about you. You probably remember. You probably can still hear it in the very tone that I said it. But what I do remember is that we tortured and humiliated and alienated you from all that was normal and fun for 3 years. We even got other girls to join us, that much I remember. I'm pretty sure there were various boys bullying you, too, but I mostly remember it being girls, proving that being a bully knows no gender. That was the problem with middle school - you were either a bully or one of the nameless unknowns from the impossibly large rabble of victims, it seemed.

Even if I can't remember exactly what we said, I do remember what we made fun of: your hair, your weight, your clothes, your dimples, hell, we even made fun of your lunchbox once. Anything we could think of.

It got to you.

I know it did, simply because you didn't smile much anymore. And you never smiled if you didn't mean it.

The last time I ever saw you in person was the last day of school at eighth grade graduation. It was an impossibly hot and sunny day, the kinds that steam yesterday's rain right off the sidewalk. You got the Superintendent's award. And I'm sorry to say that myself and my little gang were the ones snickering upon hearing your name announced.

We went our separate ways, and that summer was the one I learned what you'd been going through first hand.

I went to a generic summer camp, one I don't even remember the name of. And a little pack of girls decided they hated me and tortured me all summer.

And, to my absolute horror, I saw myself in those girls. I saw myself and Lucy, Katie, Jaycee, and Layla in them.

And in another sense, also to my horror, I saw myself in you, as the girl who was getting bullied for no good reason.

That's why no one knows I was a bully. I changed. I became a nicer person. That's why people think I'm too nice to ever be a bully. It's because I had to learn how terrible it is to be on the receiving end the hard way.

The reason I found you was because my friend, Cat Valentine, is your friend. I saw your profile on Facebook. That's how I learned that now you have a husband and three kids and that you're a veterinarian and that you live three blocks from the beach in Boca Raton, Florida.

Someone once said, "We grew up cheering on the underdogs because we saw ourselves in them." Unfortunately, this quote took me far too long to understand. I never understood it until your three-year sentence of torment had ended.

And for that, I'm truly sorry. I'm sorry to you, and I'm sorry to the middle school girl with the infectious laugh whose spirit I all but killed.

I'm so sorry.

Hope you're still smiling and hope you still mean it,

Tori Vega

* * *

**Love and mimosas, **

**Follow Those Owls**


	32. Zero

**I'm very into writing dark chapters lately, I've noticed. Anyway, the chapter that has gotten endless praise was "Like Glass", so in the very style of that one, I present to you an update on Shattered Jade. It's set anywhere in the time period when bade was broken up.**

**(And guess what? It's April 21st! A year ago today I joined FFN! I'm so proud.)**

**(Please note that I'm so proud of this chapter that I decided to post it as an independent oneshot. Hope y'all don't mind!)**

**#81 - Zero**

He hadn't meant it, right?

He couldn't have meant it, right?

He hadn't known she was there; the gang was watching movies at the Vega home. She'd gone to the bathroom, and was waiting at the top of the stairs, about to come back into the living room, when she'd heard him say it:

"I don't know, Jade was too overbearing and controlling. She was kind of hard to date, you know? She was so protective, it got annoying."

It was true.

Everyone hated her.

She didn't know why. She hadn't done anything wrong, at least, not anything she could bring to mind.

The one person who hadn't hated her. The one person she'd trusted with everything. The one person she ever truly loved. Her dad had always hated her and her mom was a depressed, bipolar woman who went insane, ran away, and got hit by a train when Jade was only 4.

The one person.

The only person.

And he hated her, too.

Jade was sure no liked her at all anymore; how could they, when her favorite person in the world had just called her things that she'd heard a million times about herself, but the thought that Beck would say them had never even crossed her mind; she hadn't allowed it to.

"Overbearing".

"Controlling".

"Annoying".

She wasn't really like that, was she? She didn't think so, but then again, even her own father hated her. Maybe Beck was right.

Jade didn't see a point to go on living. No one liked her, not even Beck. She'd loved Beck, adored him. And, apparently, he thought she was overbearing, controlling, and annoying.

(She couldn't help but notice that she'd only caught the tail-end of that conversation. She couldn't bring herself to imagine what else he might have said.)

She'd questioned for a long time why everyone hated her. Then she realized she hated herself, too.

She'd disguised her self-loathing with an abrasive personality. She wasn't really like that, and Beck knew it. He'd known what she was really like. She was always herself when she was alone with him.

But he was wrong, right?

He didn't really think that, right?

He loved her, right?

She made her footsteps maddeningly loud as she descended the staircase, to make sure they knew she was coming. The rest of the gang was so animated as they watched the film; it was a silly Pixar movie that Cat had chosen and they'd all looked back on fondly, as it was part of their childhood. Jade was jealous of their happy world; why couldn't she have such a joyous life? Why had God chosen her to get the short end of the stick? Did she deserve it? Jade didn't think so.

When the teens went went their separate ways home, it was late. Jade pondered whether or not she should go in the house; her dad would only lecture her and remind her of how dumb he thought she was. Jade hated herself, but the one thing she knew she wasn't was dumb.

...Right?

She was smart, right?

Beck had always told her he thought she was smart. The slightest bit devious, but brilliant nonetheless.

He was telling the truth, right?

He really thought that, right?

She wasn't sure.

Instead of going inside, she climbed the tree next to her house onto the roof above the patio, the way she'd done often as a child in the summer with the intent to watch the stars.

Tonight there were no stars.

(How ironic, she mused bitterly.)

It didn't matter, because tonight she didn't plan to stargaze. Tonight she stared intently at the patio, indecisive.

Should she?

Would anyone care?

What was the point of continuing her life, anyway? No one would miss her.

For a moment she pondered that was true. Would anyone miss her? Not Tori, obviously. Andre liked everyone else better than her, anyway. She was like that friend that you didn't really like, but you tolerated anyway. Robbie was scared of her.

Cat?

For a minute, Jade thought that that Cat would be devastated. They'd been friends since preschool. Then she remembered all the hints she dropped to Cat about how she really felt, about how much she hated herself. Cat might seem ditzy, but Jade knew that she wasn't stupid. Cat could've picked up on the hints of she actually cared.

Beck?

Jade had had Beck call her so many nice things and say he loved her so many times. However, the few times he said things like what he'd said tonight stuck out the most.

"Overbearing".

"Controlling".

"Annoying".

A voice in her head repeated this again and again, the words like a chant.

She decided it.

She stood up, pulling her sweatshirt tighter around her against the cold night air. She took a deep breath, a sharp breath, and took the step she knew would never touch solid ground.

For a few moments, she was flying, like an angel without wings, and then she hit the patio.

From that moment on, she was free.

* * *

They learned the news the next morning. They couldn't believe it. No one could.

Tori, although she rarely showed it, loved Jade like another sister.

Andre always remembered the way she would protect him from bullies in elementary school. She'd always been that way. Robbie was the same way.

Cat, even though Jade was so sure she wouldn't be, was, in fact, devastated by "Jadey's" death. Jade was her best friend, her partner in crime, her rock.

And then there was Beck.

Truthfully? He'd loved her all along. Was he lying when he called her those names? No, but the wonderful things about Jade outweighed her flaws. And he, too, couldn't believe what had happened.

None of them had had any idea. They'd been with her that night. They'd been watching a silly kids' movie with her. They'd had no idea what she would go home and do.

It's kind of funny how people start to listen when you're dead.

* * *

**_A note of thanks to the frequent reviewers:_**

**_curly1221_**

**_Sylkia Whacamolia_**

**_Fairytale Love and Chocolate_**

**_What do u need me 4_**

**Love and sweet tea,**

**Follow Those Owls**


	33. Seasons

**Today's chapter is quite short, but I feel it describes how most of us feel right now: just inching along towards summer.**

**#98 - Seasons**

For Robbie, there was nothing better than summer.

Robbie was constantly bullied and made fun of at school all through his life. Although it calmed down when got to Hollywood Arts, he still couldn't escape it completely. In the summer, he never had to see them. That's what so great about summer; if you hate someone, you get a vacation from them for two months.

Every year around this time, in about the first week of May or the last week of April, Robbie gets to a point that he has always proclaimed as "crawling my way to the end of the school year" and often says things to his siblings like "The fact that this school year isn't over yet makes me want to drown myself in the toilet,", to which they always wholly agree. However, they don't really understand it the same way he does.

As a little kid, summers meant anything and everything to Robbie. There were so many TV shows that he watched set in an eternal summer; on the off-occasion these characters actually went to school, their school days usually only ranged a few episodes before it was summer again because you could do more with the summer aspect.

His love for the season has stuck until now.

He always missed the summer; he always missed just how great it felt to do whatever you wanted whenever you wanted. Robbie never went to camp; he rarely took vacations in summer; he's only been a plane a mere handful of times. And yet these short, yet somehow endlessly long summer days meant the world to him.

He was always sick of homework by now. He was always sick of getting up early and dreading Mondays and how short the amount of free time you get on school days seems to be.

Sure, he lives in L.A. and it's basically summer weather all year there, but to Robbie, it's not summer until he hears the sweet, indescribably wonderful sound of the final bell announcing that it's finally over. He fought his way through the school year.

To Robbie, nothing's more reassuring than this simple statement:

Summer is coming.

**Love and body fluid cleanup kits,**

**Follow Those Owls**

**(You know what I just realized? It's been a whole year since I published my first story as of yesterday. April 25, 2012. My gosh, how far I've come in every aspect.)**


	34. For Your Information

**Most of this chapter is pretty old – I wrote half and then dropped the idea. Luckily, the whole document was saved on my computer.**

**In this chapter, the Victorious cast works at McDonald's!**

**#29 – For Your Information**

"THIS IS MCDONALD'S. WE HAVE SERVED THE SAME THINGS FOR, LIKE, 30 YEARS. MAKE. UP. YOUR. MIND!" Trina yelled, exasperated at the group of elderly ladies crowded around the counter.

"Joann? I forgot my spectacles, can you read the menu?" one old lady asked another, squinting at the menu board.

"OH MY GOD!" Trina said, banging her head into the counter.

Meanwhile, Robbie was working the drive-thru.

"Nín hǎo! Wǒ xiǎng yīgè jù wú bà hé yīxiē shǔ tiáo!" a Chinese man said.

(Translation: Hello! I would like a big mac and some fries!")

"Excuse me, sir? Do you speak English? I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU," Robbie said loudly and slowly.

"Wǒ xiǎng yīgè jù wú bà hé yīxiē shǔ tiáo!" the man repeated.

"I. CAN'T. UNDERSTAND. YOU," Robbie said again.

Back at the counter, the old ladies were still ordering.

"Is #3 the double order? My doctor said –" one began.

"YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL ORDER FOR YOU!" Trina said, giving them all quarter-pounders and small drinks.

"You listen here, missy –"

"JADE! BUMP THIS ORDER ABOVE THE OTHERS! AND MAKE IT A SPECIAL ONE!" Trina yelled to Jade, who was working the grill, in a desperate attempt to get rid of the elderlies.

"Don't tell me what to do!" Jade yelled back, as she was handed the order. "_Eight _hamburgers? Who the heck orders _eight _hamburgers?"

Even so, Jade began making the hamburgers, and she did, indeed, make them special, which involved her either spitting or throwing random ingredients like mayonnaise into them.

"Jade, that's gross, do you _know _how many times I've eaten here?" Tori asked, disgusted.

"I hate this job – I'll do whatever the heck I want."

Back at the drive-thru, the Chinese man was still unsuccessful in getting his order, and was getting increasingly agitated.

"Zhǐshì gěi wǒ, wǒ de jù wú bà hé zhà shǔ tiáo!" the man yelled.

(Translation: JUST GIVE ME MY BIG MAC AND FRIES!)

"I'll just write you down for a happy meal…" Robbie said, scribbling down the order and handing it to Jade.

Meanwhile, Cat was having a ball making the McFlurries and the shakes.

"I wonder what would happen if I put _all_ the M&M's in here?"

And so she did. McDonald's has an abundance of miniature m&m's near the McFlurry machine. If you need more, you need to go in the back. Cat dumped every single bag of m&m's within reaching distance into this one batch of McFlurry.

Back at the counter, someone was attempting to order unsalted fries.

"You do realize we'll have to make a whole new batch?" Trina said, cocking an eyebrow.

The customer, a teenage boy about Trina's age with a backwards hate on, grimaced. "Look, it's not for me. It's for my pretentious friend," he growled, mumbling a string of curses under his breath. "And I'll also have a big mac," he said. Trina glared at him. "And I guess I'll have unsalted fries with that, too…since you had to make a whole new batch…"

Trina recited the order back to Andre, who was on the fryers. "Who gets unsalted fries? I mean, you're already at McDonald's. You're gonna get salt anyway," he asked, annoyed.

Tori had walked by Cat on the McFlurries when she went to get more sauce. On the way back, Cat grabbed Tori by the arm. "The blender won't start."

Upon closer inspection, Tori realized that Cat had, indeed, placed all of the m&m's into the batch of McFlurries. "Cat! You can't use ALL the m&m's!" Tori yelled.

"I'm sorry!" Cat yelled back.

Things weren't improving back at the drive-thru window. Tori had convinced Jade to switch places with Robbie in order to stop Jade's treatment to the hamburgers, but Jade was even worse at the drive-thru. Someone was attempting to order, but their kids were too loud for Jade to hear what the woman wanted.

"Hey, lady! Tell your kids to stuff it!"

"Jade! Do you want to get fired?" Andre exclaimed. He had just finished the new batch of unsalted fries and given the one order way more than you're supposed to get. _They might as well get the whole batch, _he thought.

Unfortunately, paper McDonald's bags aren't made to hold up and entire batch of fries and two hamburgers, and when Andre handed the bag to Trina, who in turn handed it to the boy, the bottom broke, the food flying everywhere.

"OH, MY GOD, NOW WE HAVE TO MAKE ANOTHER WHOLE BATCH OF _STUPID_ _UNSALTED FRIES_!" Trina exclaimed.

The boy held his hand up in a "stop" motion. "I really don't care; just give me regular fries. I'll lie to my friend."

"Andre! Some crack-head wants fries with extra salt!" Jade yelled from the drive-thru window.

Andre almost slammed his head into the wall. "First unsalted fries, and now fries with EXTRA SALT? Who gets fries with extra salt? What the hell?"

"You're already at McDonald's; you've pretty much throw in the towel. Might as well go big or go home. Just dump the whole canister on!"

Andre shrugged and did as Jade suggested.

(Do you see what working at McDonald's does to people? It makes you make bad choices.)

**I just picked up a lot of respect for McDonald's workers. **

**(The unsalted fries thing was a reference to the amazing story ****_My Dorky Neighbor Can't be This Cute _****by sexxibug. Her work is flawless.)**

**Love and manufacturing errors,**

**(*winks at Sylkia*)**

**Follow Those Owls**


	35. Adore

**Today's chapter is basically a combination of mini-bade moments, all of which were inspired by the tumblr imagineyourotp. Bade might not be my otp, but I had a ton of with these!**

**#97 - Adore**

"This one should be here!" Beck said, standing on a chair, clutching a glow-in-the-dark star. He and Jade had just moved in together and were sticking glow-in-the-dark stars to their bedroom ceiling. However, they couldn't decide where to put each star and an argument erupted over every other star.

(Only would Beck and Jade manage to have this kind of argument.)

"No, put it there!" Jade insisted, pointing at the other side of the ceiling.

"But, Jade, I'm trying to create the Orion's Belt on the ceiling!"

Jade wrinkled her nose and playfully pushed Beck. However, she pushed harder than she meant to and Beck went tumbling to the floor. Jade, not expecting him to move, fell over the chair and landed on top of him.

They just looked at each other before bursting out laughing.

* * *

"What on earth is that?" Beck asked, staring at the sandwich Jade was preparing.

"Arugula."

Beck made a face. Jade was definitely stricter than him with the kids.

A distant groan was hear from the other room. "Mom! You're putting arugula on my sandwich AGAIN?"

Their 13-year-old son, Dean, sauntered in and raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Last time I starved," he said dramatically.

"Tough," Jade said flatly.

"Are you putting it on Chloe's sandwich, too?" he asked.

"Yep."

From the family room, apparently Chloe had been able to hear this. "MOMMY!" she yelled, running in. "I don't like a-fu-gulla."

"It's called arugula, sweetie. And you're eating it. It's good for you."

Beck was surprised that even Jade would insist upon serving a kindergartener an arugula sandwich.

When Jade turned around to grab some juice boxes, Beck quietly opened the cabinet and slipped a Rice Krispie treat into each bag. He smiled mischievously at Dean and Chloe and put a finger to his lips. They smiled back, Chloe's smile especially adorable as she was missing several teeth, and walked out of the room.

Jade turned back around and opened the bags to put in the juice. "NOT AGAIN, BECK!"

* * *

"What did it look like again?" Jade asked, looking under a desk.

"He's white, and he has red eyes," Beck answered.

The second graders were having show-and-tell that day. Unfortunately, Beck's mouse, Larry, had escaped, and now the duo were searching desperately around the classroom for him.

"Are you sure he's even still in here? Couldn't he be anywhere right now?"

Beck eyes widened. "Don't even say that!"

Jade was looking through the art shelf when she heard a squeak. She dug through art supplies and paper in the direction of the squeak.

"Beck! I found him!" she cried triumphantly.

Beck ran over to see Larry atop a nest of shredded paper.

* * *

"BECK!"

Beck had wanted to do that silly youtube challenge, the "My boyfriend does my makeup" one. Jade hadn't really wanted to, but Beck has the most convincing puppy dog eyes ever.

She'd been surprisingly patient, silly with her eyes closed and, as the rules of the challenge state, not telling him what anything was. He'd just finished, and she was staring intently at herself in the mirror.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TURNED ME INTO THE JOKER!"

"You're a very pretty Joker, babe."

**Love and R!Edd,**

**Follow Those Owls**


	36. Stars

**God, I adore this chapter. It's remarkably short, but it's just my new favorite.**

**#55 - Stars**

"When I was younger, I thought my sister was in the stars. You know, watching over me..." Robbie said.

Cat and Robbie were at the beach. It was late at night, and no one in L.A. had power. Cat, although she disliked the dark, loved the night sky when a blackout was taking place. The stars shone so much brighter and all the stars that are usually so far away that you need it to be extremely dark to see them finally come out. It looks like someone spilled a jar of silver glitter across the sky.

"Why? What happened to her?"

Robbie's sister, Lara, was considerably older than him, sixteen years, to be exact. When he was 7, she died in childbirth with her one and only child, a daughter that her husband ended up naming Lara after his late wife.

"She died a long time ago. It's kind of stupid; stars aren't people, or holes in the floor of heaven, or any of that. They're so far away that by the time we see them, they've burnt out."

Cat just smiled, looked at the sky determinedly for a moment, pointed at the brightest star and said, "That's her. That one."

**Love and polyester pants,**

**Follow Those Owls **


	37. Curious

**This is what I get for re-watching Drop Dead Fred. Someone take my computer away.**

**(Readers? Are you still there? I so rarely hear from most of you anymore. I want to know what you think of my writing!)**

**#96 - Curious**

Jade's little sister, Alice, didn't have many real friends, but she did have a lot of imaginary ones. Jade had trouble actually bringing all their names to mind, there were just so many, but the ones whose names she could remember were Sable, Eight-Hundred-and-Forty-Six the Goose, Tommy, Martin, Ingrid, Charles, Mr. Babbleton, Oona Parmesan, Sybill, Fredrich, Johnny, and The Other Johnny.

Jade, of course, knew that they were all imaginary, but Alice was insistent that they were real. And it got to the point that Jade started to wonder if Alice used them as a vehicle just so she could get out of trouble, like on Christmas Eve when she tripped Aunt Marjorie on the through the door and then blamed the whole thing on Mr. Babbleton. Jade was sure that her mother wouldn't believe this, but her mother actually sent Mr. Babbleton to a Time-Out and Alice got off scott-free.

Alice took her imaginary friends so seriously that it was actually a bit spooky. On the way to their grandmother's house on Easter, Alice started crying that they'd left Sable behind. When Jade's father pointed out that they'd brought Rosette, who Jade had never even heard of, Alice threw an even bigger temper tantrum upon realizing that they had not, in fact, brought this Rosette character along. Her tantrum was so agonizing and went on for so long that Mr. West actually turned the car around and drove back to their house to retrieve Sable and Rosette.

At first, Jade was only annoyed by the ones that Alice used to cause trouble and get away with it, like Oona Parmesan or Mr. Babbleton, but then she started having to watch out to make sure she didn't unknowingly kill the well-behaved ones.

Jade actually made sure that when she sat down on the couch or something that Alice's imaginary friends weren't around. God forbid she accidentally sit on Eight-Hundred-and-Forty-Six the Goose.

Beck thought the whole thing was hilarious.

When Jade first explained Alice's imaginary friends, they were driving to Jade's house after school to do homework together.

"My sister's going through the whole imaginary friend stage. Just watch where you sit, because she might actually kill you if you squish one of them. Last week she made me wait ten minutes to use the bathroom because Ingrid had constipation," Jade grumbled. She was becoming very sick of her sister's imaginary friends.

"Sure, babe. I had an imaginary friend when I was five, too, you know."

Jade raised an eyebrow. "I've never seen any little kid take the whole thing so seriously, though. It's disturbing."

"It'll be fine."

"Just wait until she maims you and then blames it on Fredrich. He's the violent one."

Beck just laughed.

When they got to the house, Jade opened the door, and was promptly greeted by Alice screaming her head off.

"What is it this time?!" Jade shrieked back angrily.

"You hit Winter with the door!"

"Winter. I haven't heard of that one," Jade said flatly, pulling Beck into the house.

The entire afternoon and evening, it was near impossible to go anywhere without running into one Alice's friends. Jade accidentally shut The Other Johhny into the fridge, Beck unknowingly locked Martin into the bathroom, Jade's mother pushed Sybill down the stairs, Jade's father accidentally ran over Oona Parmesan, the list went on and on. Beck found it amusing.

"You think this is funny?" Jade growled, rubbing her arm where "Fredrich" had slammed door on it.

Beck smiled. "I guess Fredrich really is the violent one."

She just glared at him.

"I can't believe she got away with this. I have a bruise and Alice isn't even in trouble, all because she said some pretend friend did it."

Beck raised his eyebrows. "What if they're not imaginary, though? I didn't see Alice around when the door slammed."

"Shut up, Beck."

Jade dismissed the possible existence of the friends right off. Still, you had to wonder. What if they really were real?

Even so, Jade didn't give it a second thought.

Not until a week later when she came out of the shower and her towel was missing, a trademark prank of Tommy's, even though nobody else was home.

**Love and a relic from the Mishapacolypse, **

**Follow Those Owls**


	38. Nostalgia

**I watched Sam & Cat last night, lovelies. And to be honest? I was really, really disappointed. Not only did they make Cat stupider (or so it seemed to me), but I've seen most of those jokes before on Dan's other shows. I mean, the delayed explosion of that smoothie thing? My brother predicted it as soon as it didn't explode immediately. I'm so disappointed in it. **

**#16 - Nostalgia**

The gang was at Tori's house. The class assignment was to get into groups of six and write a script based on Hollywood Arts during different decades, starting with the 50's and going all the way up until the 90's. The gang had been assigned the 80's, and although the other groups had to go down to the "Reference" section of the library and head back to that rarely-looked-at dusty shelf that held every year book since the school was founded in 1953 to see what events happened and what the fashion was, Tori's father had actually gone to Hollywood Arts in the 80's and still had his yearbooks. They could simply look at the shelf in Tori's house that held ever yearbook the Vega family still had. It held her mother and father's high school yearbooks, as well as every yearbook Tori and Trina ever got, even though a few years were missing. As you can imagine, there were a lot of yearbooks.

"Vega! You went to Sycamore?" Jade said in surprise. Sycamore Middle School was where Jade and Cat had gone. The boys had all gone to different schools. The problem with going to a school with as many students as Sycamore (as many as five hundred to a grade!) was that you never really got to know everyone in your grade, much less the school.

"Yeah," Tori replied.

"So did we!" Cat exclaimed, pulling out a yearbook from her sixth grade year. She flipped to the back of the sixth grade section (having a last name that started with "V" always landed you at the very back) and found her picture. She held up the yearbook for Tori to see. "There's me," she said, pointed to get photo, and then pointed to one a bit lower on the page, "and there's Jadey!"

"No way," Beck said, staring intently at Jade's photo. "Is...is Jade's shirt pink? With a peace sign on it?"

Jade snatched the yearbook. "We don't talk about it!" she snapped.

"I want to see Jade wearing a pink shirt!" Andre said, attempting to grab the yearbook. Unfortunately, it flew right out of his hands and landed open to a page about the school play.

"I was in that!" Cat and Tori said in unison.

The play had been Willy Wonka. It had been a lot of fun.

"So was I, I was Veruca Salt," Jade said.

"You? Veruca Salt? Why am I not surprised?" Rex snickered.

"REX!" Robbie cried.

"Oh, please, we were all thinking it."

Jade glared at them; Beck kissed her on the cheek.

"I didn't get a big role, I was one of the kids in the candy shop," Cat said.

Jade grinned slyly. "You loved that role, remember?"

Andre furrowed his eyebrows. "How come?" He didn't recall the kids in the candy shop being that great of a role.

Jade's grin widened. "She was _in love_ with the boy who played the Candy Man."

Tori looked confused for about half a second before breaking into a smile. "Will Sinclaire? I remember him! He was adorable!"

Jade scoffed. "You, too? He wasn't even that cute!"

Beck laughed. "Am I cuter, babe?" he teased. Jade playfully smacked him and grabbed the yearbook.

"That's him," she said, pointing to a boy standing in the middle of a fake candy shop. "Look at him, he's nothing exciting."

"That guy? Really? You liked him better than me, baby?" Rex asked Tori, who grabbed him out of Rex's hands and onto the couch behind the group.

"I'm getting real tired of Rex, man," she said as Robbie scrambled to retrieve Rex.

"The play I was in during middle school was Romeo and Juliet, but I played Paris and I was terrible. Not to mention the fact that half the girls at my school started saying 'He was my Romeo but I wasn't his Juliet' every time some boy didn't like them," Beck grumbled.

"Doesn't that mean that they're his Rosaline and they survive the play?" Cat asked.

"For there never was a story of more woe than that of Juliet and her Romeo," Tori quoted.

Beck covered his ears. "Don't remind me."

Robbie was still staring at the Sycamore yearbook. "I don't get the fuss over this Will Sinclaire either, Jade, he's not cute at all."

The group turned around and have him strange looks.

"Only you, Rob," Rex said.

**Love and Lite Brites,**

**Follow Those Owls**


	39. Don't Wait Up

**I'm watching Sam & Cat again, a different episode, and I much prefer this one over the pilot. It seems a lot more clever. Those two little British girls are adorable! I actually liked this one!**

**I'm also finally on summer vacation! My last day was Thursday. Thank the Lord.**

**#100 - Don't Wait Up**

At every elementary school, there was a silly, "scary" rumor that everyone knows and everyone remembers. At Gregory B. Anthony Elementary, there were more urban legends floating around than you could count.

The two most prevalent were the legend of the killer hobo in the woods and the legend of the ghost in the bathroom. These were the ones that every grade level in the school knew, and they spanned years because the older ones always passed it on to the littler ones and the cycle repeated.

The hobo one was the one that Beck thought was the stupidest thing he'd ever heard in his life. There was a fairly large woods behind the school, but there wasn't anything frightening in it; it had a clearly marked and paved over path, was plenty bright, and led directly to a street. Beck and his mother walked to and from school that way every day since Beck was in kindergarten with limited exceptions. Beck knew he wasn't the only one who walked through the forest; the fact that so many students seemed to believe this stupid rumor almost personally offended him.

The story went that there was a hobo in the forest who would kill anyone unlucky enough to run into him. It was a simple story with too many plot holes to be true. The story didn't change much over the years, although his weapon ranged from a knife to a gun to, most memorably, a pair of garden shears. Beck couldn't believe that this rumor didn't ever die out; not from when he was in kindergarten to when he graduated in fifth grade. In fact, it escalated. That year, a pair of bone-headed boys said they actually saw the hobo at recess and subsequently sent the entire school into hysterics. They had to go inside early and, to Beck's surprise and horror, the police where called. All the commotion was caused by an old man living in the nearby retirement home who was clipping the hedges in the woods to keep them from overgrowing.

The other one, the ghost in the bathroom, never escalated to that level, but everyone knew it and it did cause a few minor problems of the years, but never a school-wide panic.

This rumor existed in too many forms to be very specific; it was largely accepted that the ghost was female, but her name often changed from Heather to Sarah to her remaining unnamed, and she was occasionally an old woman. Most of the time, though, she was a little girl.

To this day, Beck doesn't understand how this rumor didn't just die, either. It was simply too illogical. The bathroom apparently didn't matter, because kids "saw" the ghost popping up in bathrooms all over the school.

There were other, short-lived legends that made the rounds for a while, such as an old baseball mound was really a dead body, there was a criminal on the loose in the school, there was a secret mulberry tree, etc. In one actually-frightening incident, a girl got a note saying she was going to die, signed her "unknown friend". Beck still doesn't know who wrote it, but nothing ever happened.

Beck liked Jade because she seemed to be the one and only other student at the school who realized the absurdity of the rumors. In fact, Jade liked to stir the pot even more and add in real legends from countries like Japan. Beck would never forget the week Jade told people about the legend of Split Mouth Woman, who supposedly wore a trench coat, long black hair, and, the dead giveaway, a surgical mask covering the bottom half of her face. According to legend, she'll ask you if you think she's beautiful. If you say no, she conjures up a pair of comically oversized scissors and slices your head off. If you say yes, she removes her mask to reveal a disgusting mutilated face, cut from ear to ear. She'll then repeat the question. In this case, whether you say yes or no, she chases you down and slices you up like a Christmas ham. Some people simply cannot be satisfied.

Naturally, Jade spread this story like wildfire.

Jade loved telling this story because anyone who researched it would find plenty of links to pages about it, because it's a well-known urban legend. "But," she'd say, "if you say 'average' or 'so-so' it'll confuse her and give you extra time to run like the wind."

Beck thought it was almost funny when he saw some younger kids practicing running like all the hounds of hell were on their heels (or in this case, a crazy lady with scissors). As a fifth grader, however, he felt bad about scaring the little kids.

"Jade," Beck said as they walked briskly down the hallway, "is this really necessary?"

Jade nodded fiercely. "We graduate next week. This is our only chance, because I'm never coming back here. I hate this place."

A new rumor, this one also a famous urban legend, was about Hanako-San of the toilet. Since the students of Gregory B. Anthony seemed to love rumors surrounding bathrooms, this one, of course, took place there. According to legend, this takes place if you go to the third stall from the end of any bathroom in any elementary school (although in some variations, it's on the third floor). Unlike most urban legends where evil entities just show up unprovoked because they're apparently like that, you actually have to summon Hanako-San, although the idea of summoning a ghostly little girl into a bathroom stall seems to lean a bit to closer to the "pedophile on the news last week" side than the "scary rumor" one.

Apparently, you need to be polite by knocking three times on the stall door and calling out, "Are you there, Hanako-San?"

If you're replied to by a voice responding, "Yes, I'm here!", then other than pissing your pants in surprise and fear, you can actually open to door to see Hanako-San, who is said to be a little girl with a black bob-cut and a red skirt. If you're lucky, she'll just disappear, if you're not, she'll pull you to a watery grave in the toilet. What a way to go out.

If you do knock on her stall and get a reply, assuming you didn't already surpass the speed of light getting the hell out of there, you can just walk away and nothing will happen. However, if you insist upon cornering ghostly little girls in bathroom stalls, there is a chance you'll actually get to see her before you attempt to break the laws of physics whilst making your escape.

Jade loved this story, and since she actually was an elementary school student who had easy access to an elementary school bathroom, she wanted to try it out.

"I don't want to go into the girls' room!" Beck protested as they claimed the stairs to the third floor.

"Oh, please, it's not anyone's going to see anything. It's after-school!" Jade argued. Often people's parents would let them play around with friends on the playground after school. Jade and Beck to their parents they were going inside for a drink of water.

Beck looked back and forth nervously, but he stepped into the bathroom with Jade. He didn't like to be scared.

Jade went to the third stall on the end, took a deep breath, smiled, knocked thrice, and said, "Are you there, Hanako-San?"

As Beck expected, no one responded. Jade crossed her arms. "I knew it wouldn't work!" she said, annoyed.

"Whatever, let's go," Beck said glad to be getting out of the girls' room.

They were just about to exit, Jade still disgruntled, when a high voice said, "Yes, I'm here!"

They never high-tailed it out of a room so fast in their lives.

**Love and bug juice,**

**Follow Those Owls**


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